- Daniel Hardcastle and Rebecca Maughan
A personal, absurd celebration of the sheer joy of video games.
As I rapidly career towards 30 like the Hovis advert kid after someone had cut his brakes, I’ve decided to look back on what really made me happy in life. The friends, the romances, the experiences. All of these pale in comparison to video games.
When I was growing up all we had for entertainment was a dirty rock, a finished book of crosswords and an 11 second long VHS called The Best of Eastenders. The only social network was the back of a public bathroom door and pornography had to be sourced from the foliage just outside of school. These were dark times.
However, somethingsomething years ago we invented video games! Now instead of passing the time by spinning around in circles until you died, we could plug a box into the TV and shoot monsters in the face! The boxes got bigger, the monsters got shinier and now we’ve all got boxes in our house with more teraflops than people who actually know what a teraflop is!
Sadly, this wasn’t to last. As video games received more popularity, they attracted the worst kind of people imaginable. Businessmen. These bastards invented things like free-to-pay, loot boxes and microtransactions, tainting the once noble hobby of shooting fake monsters in the face. Video games looked to be doomed.
If only somebody, and I’m just taking a wild stab here, would write a book celebrating the brilliance of video games in a warm and whimsical manner. If only that book was filled with jokes, largely on topic anecdotes and more swear words than that YouTube video with the bootleg fireworks. Maybe that could save us all.
HANG ON A SECOND. I’ve totally, accidentally just described the book I’ve been writing for the past year! What are the chances of that?!
Fuck Yeah, Video Games is a love letter to the greatest hobby of them all (that doesn’t primarily involve trains). Each chapter looks at a different game from the last 30 odd years and crams as many jokes, obscure references and personal stories into it as will fit. From God of War to Animal Crossing, SSX 3 to Noby Noby Boy it’s almost as if I’ve chosen the games to feature totally at random. (I pretty much did.)
Alongside this march of merriment are a handful of chapters dedicated to the hardware behind the games. Here we celebrate the weird and wonderful world of consoles and peripherals. To be honest, it’s an excuse to write about really obscure Sega peripherals and so I could get Stuart Ashen of Attack of the Flickering Skeletons fame to write a chapter about Atari.
Also, sandwiching all of this together will be gorgeous, chunky illustrations by Rebecca featuring a cartoon me and many, many outfits. Rebecca’s nailed the look, even if I’ve been drawn much fatter than I hope I am.
Anyway, I’ve teamed up with Unbound to get this book made and into your eventually arthritic hands. They’re a neat company and they let me put a swear word in the title so I’m proud to be working with them.
Now, enough reading. Go buy things!
(Unless you want to read the excerpt first. In that case, read more, then stop, then buy things. Thank you.)
IMPORTANT NOTICE: The deadline to pledge and get your chosen name inside the book is midnight (BST) on Sunday 14th October 2018. Any pre-orders after this date will be sent copies of the book but won't have the name included. Please see this help article for details on how to check or change the name. Now we just need to figure out how we're going to display 8000+ names inside...
Daniel Hardcastle, Author
Hello! My name is Daniel and I’ve said approximately 15,000,000 words across almost 4,000 internet videos in the past eight years. It’s probably time I wrote some of them down.
My love for video games started in 1991 when I discovered that I could magically control the small blue hedgehog on my TV with a special remote control. My passion for writing came about when a boy wizard stabbed a snake man in the face. My interest in dinosaurs came from a visit to the Natural History Museum, but that isn’t important right now.
I live in *REDACTED* with Rebecca, the illustrator of this book, and our many, many pets. When I grow up I’d like to be a bit less fat.
Rebecca Maughan, Illustrator
Interview between Daniel and Rebecca, Recorded 29th May 2018 at 19:21.
Transcript Begins
OK, time to do your one now.
Hello, I’m Rebecca and… … ...I don’t know what to say.
You have to sell yourself, it’s like writing a personal statement or something more important like a twitter bio.
I hate writing those.
Everyone does.
Why do I have to do this again?
Because people want to know about you to see if your work is worth spending money on.
I like dogs.
Great start! Add to it!
I like dogs more than people.
Not quite what I had in mind,
I’d kill all the people…
So… how about those qualifications?
... to save a dog.
It says here that you have a degree in software engineering for computer games!
Just one dog.
And that you’ve been drawing for longer than you’ve been walking.
My dream…
Uh huh...
...is to find a dog so big…
Yes?
...that it can eat people.
I’ll make something up.
Transcript Ends
The Sims
Developer : Maxis
Publisher : Electronic Arts
Platform : PC
Release : 2000
What’s it about : Creating some virtual people and playing with their mundane lives.
The first character I created in The Sims was my Dad.
For reasons lost to time I never made any other members of my family. Just my Dad, alone, in a two bedroom bungalow nestled in a quiet corner of Sim Lane. Beautiful place it was. Sure, the yellow and black wallpaper clashed with the neon brown carpet, but it clashed in a classy, modern living kind of way.
Dad’s only company in this magic eye puzzle of a house was the statue of a pink flamingo that he kept in the garden. He named it Bert. Some tosser stole it on the first night.
The early days were surprisingly hard for Dad. The theft of Bert had hit him hard and he was struggling to find work. I His attempts to do normal, grown up things had resulted in him urinating in the kitchen while setting fire to the only cooker in his price range. Not even the acquisition of Bert II could help liven up his dreary mood. As he settled down that night to watch his tiny TV he gave up all hope for a good life. Channel 5 will do that to you.
Suddenly, there was a knock at his door. Thinking it was the pizza delivery man, Dad leapt to his feet. Sadly it only turned out to be his neighbour and future wife, Bella.
As Bella Goth welcomed Dad to the neighbourhood, she was unaware she’d just met the man she’d leave Mortimer for. She was especially unaware that, due to Sims having loyalty that even Judas Iscariot would think was a touch backstabby, she’d be re-married by the end of the week.
The wedding, like the relationship, was a small affair. Dad wore black, Bella wore white and Bert wore a slim little pink number. Bella moved in immediately, complained about the dirty plates, and fell asleep. Now, happily entrenched in Les Dawson’s idea of a married life, Dad finally got a job.
The security gig was a breeze for Dad. He loved the graveyard shift. It paid well and gave him time in the day to spend with Bella and his hobbies. II He did come back smelling a smidge corpse-y every now and then, leading Bella to suspect that he didn’t quite know what a graveyard shift was, but she let it slide. Besides, it reminded her of Mortimer.
You know, now I think about it, there was something a bit... off about Bella. She was doing a wonderful job of cleaning the bathrooms, fixing broken electronics and waxing Bert II, but every now and then she’d just do something… weird. On one day she simply picked up a bin bag, walked to the center of the kitchen, and placed it on the floor. Neither her nor Dad could ever pick that bag up again. I ended up building a wall around it. It didn’t stop the smell. Or the flies.
Back in the world of late night security, promotions came thick and fast for Dad. Before you could say “one day left until retirement” Dad was a Patrol Officer. The mean streets of SimCity became his territory. Dad was there to serve and protect, be it against robberies, car thefts or even giant green lizards heading for the nuclear plant. For the first time in his life he was happy. Nothing was going to take him away from this.
Pregnancy is weird isn’t it? I mean, you know those countless hours you’ve spent crafting the perfect RPG character? You know, stuff like making sure the nose for Gladius Bigpecs, Hero of the People is the exact right distance from his philtrum? Well having a baby is like clicking the “Randomise All” button on that character. Actually it’s worse because it’s not just the shoulders and bottom you’ll be looking at for the next 50 hours. It’s a person. A person you then have to love and keep alive. Have to. By law.
Bella’s news pierced through Dad’s chest like the bullet that he would be hit by a few days later. Questions oozed out in a very similar simile. How can we afford this? What if the trash smell drives it mad? What will Bert II think? How did this happen considering we’ve only kissed and I’m pretty sure that’s wrong but I’m only eleven so I don’t know? This was set to be a scary and confusing time for all involved.
We didn’t have long to prepare. Mere seconds later a text box announced that Dad Jr was here. Well, a crib appeared anyway. Every now and then it made a noise so I assumed there was a baby in it. Could have been a Furby for all I know.
One thing I did know however is that they’d all need a bigger house. Dad and Bella sold everything that wasn’t nailed down (So long Bert II) and upsized to just down the street. Big plans were laid for the new house. Downstairs would be the Kitchen, Living Room and Pool. III Upstairs would be the Office, Main bedroom and Baby's room. Actually now we mention it… where was the Baby?
Dad Jr was never seen again. He’d vanished without a trace. We’re assuming the moving guy labeled a box wrong somewhere and Dad Jr ended up in Mexico. You always lose something during a move don’t you?
Bella started acting up. That might have been due to the literal loss of the baby or the comedown from lack of trash fumes, nobody really knows. The marriage dissolved soon after and she left to be with the mailman. She was married before the next collection time. A few days later Dad was shot at work. I decided to cheer him up by spending the 2nd floor money on a Swimming Pool in the garden. Lovely it was. Diving board, lights, the whole shebang. No stairs though. Waste of money. He could just climb out right?
He drowned an hour later. The last thing he saw was the newly purchased Bert III. I’m sure he would have wanted it that way.
I feel I let my Sim Dad down. He had all the potential in the world and I helped him squander it on women, TVs and flamingo wax. He could have been the next John McClane but instead he ended up like David Dunn. IV There’s a lesson to be learnt here about your kids ruining your life but, to be honest, it’s vague at best.
The next character I made was my Mum. She burnt to death cooking a salad on day three. The fact I even exist at all is a fucking miracle.
I Well, I say he was struggling to find work, I was the one that hadn’t found the paper on the front porch with the job section in it yet.
II I say hobbies… He just liked to stare at Bert II and think about the weather.
III Due to miscommunication Bella though that Pool meant swimming pool. Dad meanwhile had already bought sticks and numbered balls.
IV If he died in that swimming pool scene that is.
February 2019 update!
Saturday, 9 February 2019
Hello, Happy New year (is it already too late for that? I feel like 2019 started a few hours ago…) etc etc, hope you’re having a good one!
Me? Lovely of you to ask, I’ve spent the first month vomiting from most of my orifices, sneezing from the ones that are left and generally being dead. Thanks to modern medicine, a pact made with a mysterious carnival worker and the fact that the toilet is now…
- Read more...
- Posted on FUCK YEAH, VIDEO GAMES: THE LIFE AND EXTRA LIVES OF A PROFESSIONAL NERD by Daniel Hardcastle and Rebecca Maughan
Manuscript Submitted and 1500%!
Monday, 3 September 2018
Hello! Long time no update!
This morning, specifically at half past four, I flung the first manuscript of the book off to Unbound. This is the first major step on this books long journey to... well, becoming an actual book.
Right now the book is about 70,000 words, most of them rude, and is as polished as I can make it by myself. It's been over a year and a half of writing but it's nice to…
- Read more...
- Posted on FUCK YEAH, VIDEO GAMES: THE LIFE AND EXTRA LIVES OF A PROFESSIONAL NERD by Daniel Hardcastle and Rebecca Maughan
1346% Update
Friday, 29 June 2018
Blimey.
It's still not quite sunk in. I don't think it really can. This book has been funded 10 times over and then some. Future projects of mine now have budgets, Rebecca's Fallout collection is probably going to double in size and the dogs are going to get at least three new chew toys each.
With all this support and good fortune coming our way, we're going to pass a little bit of it on. We…
- Read more...
- Posted on FUCK YEAH, VIDEO GAMES: THE LIFE AND EXTRA LIVES OF A PROFESSIONAL NERD by Daniel Hardcastle and Rebecca Maughan
The first 24 Hours...
Tuesday, 5 June 2018
"Well, we've had worse days..."
Thank you. Sincerly and from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I've been writing for years. So, so many years. My attic is full of comics featuring stick men I drew in primary school, plays I used to perform to my Nan, and about fifteen series worth of Doctor Who. Writing is in my blood, alonside last nights curry and an overly large amount of bilirubin. I think…
- Read more...
- Posted on FUCK YEAH, VIDEO GAMES: THE LIFE AND EXTRA LIVES OF A PROFESSIONAL NERD by Daniel Hardcastle and Rebecca Maughan
These people are helping to fund FUCK YEAH, VIDEO GAMES: THE LIFE AND EXTRA LIVES OF A PROFESSIONAL NERD.
When will this book be released?
Hi Adam,
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019.
Unbound Support
Hey Dan,
Sorry to cause trouble by starting to ask questions. I was wondering if is there any way to separately buy one of the extra items (Specifically the Tortilla Lasagna Recipe poster) if we've backed a pledge level that doesn't include it? (e.g. the Personalized Signed Edition)
Hi John,
Unfortunately we can't edit or add things to pledges which aren't part of the set level rewards. If you need to check what you level includes you can do this over in your account. http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/what-rewards-does-my-chosen-pledge-level-include
Unbound Support
Will being in the USA be a problem for me getting a physical copy of this book?
Not at all Chris - we ship all over the world.
Unbound Support
What is the projected release date?
Hi Jannes,
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019.
Unbound Support
Were will the book be sold after the funding and how long until then?
Hi Ben,
The book is still available for pre-order from us until the final stages of production. Then after it's published it will be available from all good UK bookshops.
Unbound Support
Any ideas of a rough release date or expected delivery date? I can't see any details on the main page.
Hi Aeva,
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019.
Unbound Support
When does the ability to pledge to this book expire?
Hi Alex,
We'll be taking pre-orders until the book goes into the final stages of production so there's quite some time still to pledge.
Unbound Support
What is the format of the Ebook?
Hi Sam,
We usually create ebooks in epub, mobi and PDF formats.
Unbound Support
How long until they ship?
Hi Shamus,
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019.
Unbound Support
Hi
How long will it take before I get my confirmation email? The money has been drawn from my card but no email yet.
Hi Kim,
There was a delay on this due to the popularity of the project. If you're still having problems with this please get in touch via support@unbound.com.
Unbound Support
Hello Rebecca and Dan,
I have been eyeing up the Front of the Book Edition for the past hour or so, but alas, I am a loot whore at heart. I have bought the Collector's Edition (All hail our EA Overlords). I would love to upgrade and possibly donate a little higher than the Front of the Book Edition's asking price if the rest of the loot was bundled with it too? Would that be possible?
Thanking you kindly,
Ash
Hi Ash,
Unfortunately we can't edit or add things to pledges which aren't part of the set level rewards. If you need to check what you level includes you can do this over in your account. http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/what-rewards-does-my-chosen-pledge-level-include
Unbound Support
Is it possible to get the "Custom Art Edition" and add some money to the pledge to get the "Ubisoft" bonuses?
The dog bookmark sound so cute. :D
Hi Euan,
Unfortunately we can't edit or add things to pledges which aren't part of the set level rewards. If you need to check what you level includes you can do this over in your account. http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/what-rewards-does-my-chosen-pledge-level-include
Unbound Support
When will the book be released?
Hi Callum
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019. So as long as all goes to plan that's when we'll send out books.
Unbound Support
when is it getting publish
Hi Maximillian,
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019. So as long as all goes to plan that's when we'll send out books.
Unbound Support
When is the projected release date? :)
Hi John,
The book is currently scheduled to be published in October 2019. So as long as all goes to plan that's when we'll send out books.
Unbound Support
When does pledging end?
Hi Arran,
We'll be taking pre-orders right up until the book goes into the final stages of production, so there's still plenty of time to pledge.
Unbound Support
Will the Hard back and Audio book be available for purchase anywhere else at a later day or will this be the only chance to get it?
Hi Caelan,
We'll be taking pre-orders right up until the book goes into the final stages of production, so there's still plenty of time to order.
Unbound Support
Can anyone tell me the end date for this Campaign?
I will absolutely be funding but may wait until Payday if I can.
Hi Donlambo,
We'll keep taking pledges for the special edition until we go into the final stages of production so there's plenty of time to pledge and get your name inside.
Best wishes,
Unbound Support
Will my name be the name it was when I signed in to pledge or the one I changed it to
Hi Max,
You can check or change the name you want in the book through your account page. Here's details on how: http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/changing-the-supporter-name-thats-printed-in-a-book.
Thanks for pledging!
Unbound Support.
After the book has been published, would it be possible to buy the book from stores or online?
Yes indeed. When published the book will be available from most good bookshops.
So will my name appear on the back of every copy of the book or just my copy?
Hi Joshua,
Your name will appear in the supporter list which is included in every copy of the book. I hope this helps!
Unbound Support
Hi, I pledged for the signed book but I just got some extra money and was is it possible to up your pledge or is it set?
Hi Bailey,
You can upgrade your level of support if you want to. Just see here for how to do this: http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/how-do-i-upgrade-my-level-of-support.
Best wishes,
Unbound Support
Does the payment go through when I pledge or when the book actually comes out.
Hi Kevin,
We take the payment at the time of you making the pledge.
Unbound Support
I'm moving soon, can I change my mailing address after I pledge? Or should I wait?
Hi Kevin,
We always get supporters to double check the address before sending the books out so you can change this at a later date if you need to. It will be a while yet until there the finished copies are ready. http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-profile/how-do-i-change-my-default-delivery-address.
Unbound Support
Is it possible to upgrade from the Hardback to the Signed Hardback? The next available upgrade is for the Snuggle Buddies for me.
Hi Justin,
You should be able to upgrade to that level! Please can you email us via support@unbound.com so we can look into this for you?
Thanks!
Unbound Support
Can I not add my full name for the names at the back of the book? I can only find first and last name .. I have a middle name TT
Hi Clifford,
You can add a middle name in the book if you like. Please see here for details on how to update the name in the book: http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/changing-the-supporter-name-thats-printed-in-a-book
Best wishes,
Unbound Support
My reward tier, the personalised video, seems to come with a multitude of the former tiers. Does this include the personalised signed edition or is it only a signed copy?
Hi Callum,
Thanks for getting in touch. The only level to include personally dedicated copies is the 'Personalised Signed Edition' level. I hope this helps!
Best wishes,
Unbound Support
Even after the pledge is over will I still be able to buy it or do I need to order it now
Hi Albert,
Once the book is published it will be available to buy in bookshops, but if you want your name in the book you'll need to pledge before it heads past a certain production stage. I hope this helps!
Unbound Support
Hi
How Do I Access The Audio and E Book
Hi Daniel,
You'll be sent an email around publication letting you know how to access the ebook and audiobook files. I hope this helps!
Unbound Support.
Hi!
I bought a signed copy but its for a gift and i didnt even think to check of there was a gift option for it! is there some way i can change it so it doesn’t accidentally end up with my own name in it or something?
Hi Holly,
Thanks for your question! It depends when you pledged - the supporter list is closed now, so it's too late to add or change any names.
However you should be able to check whether you pledged in time to get a name included, and if so what name you added to the list, over in your account: unbound.com/account.
I hope this helps!
Unbound Support
Hi, where do I send my face in for the front of the book edition?
Hi Grant,
Please look out for an email from us in January with details of where to send your image. Once we have them all we'll send them over to be illustrated.
Thanks!
Unbound Support
If I upgrade my pledge now, will my name still be in the book?
Hi Luke,
We've finalised the names to go inside the book now so if you upgrade your pledge reward your name will still be in the book, but it's too late for you to edit the name. I hope that's OK.
Unbound Support
I pledged for the custom art edition. Will I get an email when it’s time to send in a picture for the drawing?
Thanks
You will indeed, Thomas. Rebecca is still finishing the illustrations to go inside the book at the moment but we'll be in touch with everyone who needs a personalised illustration in the next few months with details of where to send their photo.
Thanks! Unbound Support.
For a drawn photo edition, what type of photo should I send?
Hi Daniel,
Just a picture f your face is perfect. Please can you send this to catherine@unbound.com before 25th February so that we can send over to Rebecca to add to the book. You should have received an email from Catherine about this previously, so we're sorry if this hasn't arrived in your inbox.
Thanks!
Unbound Support
If i upgrade my pledge will my name still be in the back of the book? Thanks
Hi Kev,
We've got the final supporter list from the database now and this is being added to the book files at the moment. So yes, if you change your chosen reward level then your name will still be in the book.
Unbound support
Is there any possible way to change the name I want in the back of the book at this point? I realised I am trans recently and am not really wanting to be deadnamed
Hi Zoe,
We would love to help but I'm afraid that it's now too late to change the name in the book as this has been closed and can't be reopened. Really sorry we can't help in this instance.
Unbound Support
Hi, is there a way to change address the physical copy will be delivered to?
There is indeed Ruby. More details here: http://help.unbound.com/unbound-for-readers/managing-your-subscriptions/how-do-i-change-the-delivery-address-for-a-specific-order.
Unbound support.