Are you looking for something to do this Saturday, 10th June? Well look no further because Murray Lachlan Young will be performing with Don Black and Katie Melua at London's Kings Place. Get your tickets <a href="http://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/spoken-word/vices-and-verses-murray-lachlan-young-don-black-katie-melua#.WTlrXBPytjt">here</a>. 

 


 <img alt class="doksoft_image_img" src="https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0728/3615/3620/files/P_L_other_VicesVerses2_d483282b-ea8d-41fa-a172-9cc7be627dd2.jpg?v=1690907584" width="500" height="333">

Vices & Verses

Join Murray Lachlan Young as he reads from his new collection of poetry, How Freakin’ Zeitgeist Are You? at the Idler Academy. 
 
<a href="http://idler.co.uk/product/murray-lachlan-young/">Date: Wednesday 6 April 
Time: 7pm 
Location: Suprise London Location (TBC)</a> 
 
Join the Idler Academy for an evening of satirical soliloquy, rock-n-roll reverie, devastating-ditty, and occasional erotic folk song. Acclaimed poet and broadcaster Murray Lachlan Young reads from his new edition of collected works including crowd-pleasers, classics and odes less travelled from residencies at Radio 4 Saturday live, the BBC Radio2 Arts show and his long time residency on BBC6 music.  
 
All supporters of the book can buy tickets for half price. Just use the code goatee at checkout.  
 
<a href="http://idler.co.uk/product/murray-lachlan-young/">To buy your special half price ticket, click here. </a>

Murray Lachlan Young Event

A clip taken from BBC6 Music this morning

So...

How Freakin’ Zeitgeist Are You is the definitive collection of Murray Lachlan Young’s poems from 1994 to the present day. Anyone who has watched or listened to Murray perform will recognise the range of his work, from whimsical comedy to darker pieces through satire, cosmology and metaphysics. His incurable addiction to rhyme is evident from the first page and the whole collection is designed to be read aloud and shared with friends.

So open it up, find the beat and enter the strange and marvellous world of Murray Lachlan Young.

<h2> Contemplating growing a beard? </h2>
 
 
 You want a beard you need a beard 
You’ve seen what beards can do 
 The confidence, the joie de vivre 
 But which beard is for you? 
 French fork, Chin puff? 
 Cheeky Latin wedge? 
 Soul patch, Neck muff? 
 Thick bucolic hedge? 
 Intellectual goatee beard? 
 Cultivate the shrub 
 Nautical, or boaty beard? 
 Join the beardy club 
 Surfy beard or folky beard? 
 Fluffy pubic fuzz? 
 Black, blond, ginger beard? 
 Find the beardy buzz. 
 Meet up with your beardy friends 
 In a beardy bar 
 Talk about a beardy band 
 Name a beardy star 
 Scratch a little, stroke a little 
 Stroke a little more 
 Twist and preen and plump and prod 
 Yes, that’s what beards are for 
 Look into the mirror 
 See what you can do 
 Who’s that bushy beardy bear? 
 That beardy bear is you! 
 Masculine believable 
 Trustworthy and fun 
 Wholesome, wise yet vulnerable 
 Oh feel what you’ve become 
 Now customise, accessorise 
 Yes, strike a beardy theme 
 A pipe? Perhaps, a Breton shirt? 
 Go on; go on, some skinny jeans 
 Now out, out, out into the world 
 And execute your bearded plan 
 Embrace your bearded destiny 
 Become a bearded man!


 

 

<h2>How freakin Zeitgeist are you? </h2> 
 
 
Are you local, organic, animal friendly? 
Fairly traded, into bondage and Pilates, are you bendy? 
Near the juice bar, with your iPad? 
In your high tops, are you cool Dad? 
Aiawaskaor Iboga? 

Shivananda for your Yoga? 

Are you Linked in, are you Beebo? 

On your blog spot, drinking Miso? 

Are you fluid, are you flexi? 

Is your lifestyle well connected? 

Are you posting, multi platform? 

Is it Beijing that you’re back from? 

Are you aware of cultural demographic shifts? 

And interconnected network trends? 

Yet aware of the difference in the new catagorisations? 

In the world of us and those whom we call followers and friends? 

Are you aware of mass customization and the 121 future? 

And how black cabbage and Spanish cider fit with these developmental rules? 

And that: 360 record deals 

iPods as DJ decks 

And rappers rapping about premium alcohol brands 

Is now considered passé and deeply uncool? 

Do you have an allotment? 

And a bell tent, have you got one? 

At a festi, set in parkland? 

With a recycled wristband? 

Are you surfing the eclectic? 

Are you solar and electric? 

Funky lifestyle, do you live one? 

Or a monky's, could you give one? 

So I guess what I’m kinda asking 

While I’m kinda multi tasking 

Is how freakin Zeitgeist are you?

 

 

 

 

<h2>Mundane Poem #1</h2> 
 
 
This poem is not very interesting 

It has, pauses 

Where there, should be none 

It is not deep and meaningful in any, respect 

It is not very, clever and not that much, fun 

This poem is purposefully, dreary, 

Its desire is to be everyday, commonplace and dull. 

And just incase it isn’t, monotonous, enough 

This poem will now, wander into a lull 

Of: boring, and unexciting ordinariness 

And it will stay there for a while 

While we all sit with the humdrum reality 

Of its unexcitingness 

Realising that it has lost focus 

Its rhyme scheme it no longer functioning 

This is not an attempt to be clever 

It’s not even an attempt to prove that 

Life can’t be interesting all the time 

It is not attempting to say anything about anything 

Really 

Why would it want to do that? 

For this poem is completely mundane 

And that’s it. 

Its finished, now.

 

 

 

 

<h2>If you met a famous person (What would you say?)</h2> 
 
 
What would you say if you met a famous person? 

A really famous person 

I mean a card carrying 

Really, really, properly famous person 

Just you and them 

and their vast and gleaming timepiece 

In solid white gold with a platinum twist 

Encrusted in diamonds and chronographic complications 
As big a as a haddock adorning their wrist 

And their tattooed eyelids and their Liposuction 

And their cunningly holistic moisturizer 

Reaped from the beard of a rare mountain goat 

By their, disturbingly knowing looking, astrological advisor 

What would you say, what would you do? 

As you looked at them and they- 

Lowered those shades (you could never afford) 

And through lightly tinted contact lenses looked back at you 

And spoke of conscious clarity, humility and charity 

And they (broke down in tears and) told you that fame was (the dominion of madness cruelly reserved) for the unlucky few 

And then took you into their confidence, regarding their audience with the Dali Lama 

How he helped them see that they were no different than me or you. 

What would you say? 

What would you say? 

Would you stand would you sit? 

Would you kneel would you pray? 

In that moment, that window, that second they had free... 

'....Did you know the clocks are going forward? Or is it back? Its always so difficult to remember! I always get it wrong! I'm such an idiot! I'm so stupid! honestly! 

Can I have your autograph please?’ 

Just here, on my arm, though of course, you understand.. 

...it’s actually not for me, 

Its for someone else’

 

 

 

 

<h2>God bless the naked Rambler</h2> 
 
 
God bless the naked Rambler 

God bless his naked plan 

God bless that solo nudist 

And his brave bare-bottomed stand 

Lands end to Newbury, Offas Dyke 

Buxton Pennines on to Hawick 

Across the Firth of Forth he strode 

To John O'Groats the final road 

Shaggy beard, safari hat 

Sturdy boots and heavy pack 

His mission plain: to drive away 

This island's sense of naked shame 

But quickly it became quite clear 

Some did not like his naked rear 

They did not think it good enough 

A rambler rambling in the buff 

And shouted from behind the door 

A naked man, call in the law! 

Imagine if a child should see 

This shocking lack of dignity 

And then be scarred and turn to drugs 

And end up on an Afghan rug 

Cavorting naked in a pile 

And then become a paedophile! 

The judge declared, “This can’t go on 

The man must put some Y-fronts on 

And if he won’t then he must pay 

Take him down for twenty days” 

In Portfield prison, Inverness 

They could not make Rambler dress 

So threw him into solitary 

But could not take his dignity 

Five months in jail he was waylaid 

Diverted from his nude crusade 

When they finally set him free 

He strode away in naked glee 

Continuing his rustic route 

Clad only in his birthday suit 

To John O'Groats he made his way 

One windy January day 

And there he stood at journey's end 

Himself he tried not to defend 

“I may have caused some small alarm 

But not committed any harm 

My body it is part of me 

There is no shame just dignity” 

God bless you naked rambler 

God bless your hairy arse 

And god bless the foolish tools of law 

That tried to block your path.

How Freakin' Zeitgeist Are You?

Ebook

Be a part of our community! 334,112 people from 207 countries have pledged £11,980,334 to fund 646 projects - and counting!

About us

How it works

Jobs

View our catalogue

About

Help centre

Delivery

Refunds

Contact us

Help

Footer menu

Politics & Social Justice

Memoir & Biography

Nature & Folklore

Gaming & Pop Culture

History & Sociology

Food & Drink

Science & Technology

Language & Literature

Philosophy & Ideas

Gift & Humour

Fiction

Health & Wellbeing

Art & Photography

Business & Economics

Psychology & Self-Help

Unbound Firsts

Genres

Crowdfunding

Published Books

Pre-Order

Second column

Our Books

Shop Now

Tom Cox Collection

Jackie Morris Collection

Jonathan Meades Collection

Ian Livingstone Collection

Daniel Hardcastle Collection

Russell Jones Collection

Column

Author Collections

Submit Your Work

Trending Now

white

black

eBook
Paperback
Hardback
Signed Hardback
Signed Paperback
Fox
Otter
Patron
Ebook
The Readers - a print by Mick Cox (plus signed hardback).
Advanced Book Proof (plus Signed Hardback).
Name a character or animal. (Plus a signed hardback).
Personalised Hardback - Your Photo on the Cover
Ebook via Glassboxx
Be on the Podcast
Virtual Meet the Author
Executive Producer
Hush-Kit article chosen by you
Your name written on a warplane in the book plus a print
Hand drawn illustration by Joe
Patron plus Hardback
Dedicated Hardback
In Memoriam
An Evening with John Healy
Lamp Fish Print Bundle
Unicorn Autopsy Print Bundle
Exclusive Mystery Print Bundle
Surreal Trio Print Bundle
Signed First Edition Bundle
First Edition Bundle
'Cockatrice' Dayglo Poster Bundle
Foil Postcards and Poster Bundle
'One With Nature' T-Shirt Bundle (M)
'One With Nature' T-Shirt Bundle (L)
Patron Bundle
Ebook
Signed Proof Bundle
Book Club Bundle
Annotated Copy Bundle
Afternoon Tea with Natalie Bundle

Trending Now

Crowdfunding

How Freakin' Zeitgeist Are You?

About The Book

Join Our Newsletter

Your Bag