The second in a regular series of exclusiove excerpts from Empty Wigs, read by Jonathan himself.

This is taken from the novel's fourth section –  narrated by the aristocrat Sir Geoffrey Shadoxhurst. Here he recounts a lunch at the family seat of Faineant Park (pron. Fenant) held just after the outbreak of the Second World War and attended by Tom and Pammy Mungoson, known affectionately as the 'vair-vairs'...