I AM NOT A WOLF
By Dan Sheehan and Sage Coffey
You are a HUMAN MAN navigating every day life, dating, bus etiquette and other important human concerns. You are definitely NOT A WOLF.
Publication date: November 2020Support this project
RACK OF RIBS
A WHOLE ROAST DUCK
A WILD DEER!
THE WHOLE COW
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Life is good. You have a job, an apartment in a nice part of town, and an online dating profile that’s recently yielded as many as three matches. From the outside, it would appear you’re a human man that has all the pieces of a stable and functional life. But you also have a horrible secret. You’re not a human man at all. You're a WOLF.
Assume the role of one of nature’s greatest predators, just barely maintaining a fake identity as a part of the human workforce. Each choice you make in this interactive story is crucial to your survival and, more importantly, your burgeoning graphic design career. Will you navigate water cooler gossip without arousing suspicion? Can you go on a date without bringing up how much you love ham? Or is it perhaps time to throw this human world to the wind and return to the woods from whence you came? These choices and many, many more await you in: I AM NOT A WOLF.
This book, based on the immensely popular Twitter account @SickOfWolves, puts the reader in complete control of the narrative. From the simple challenges of being a wolf in a human’s world (lack of opposable thumbs, an insatiable desire to feast on fresh meat, etc) to the more existential problems that come with human life (romantic dissatisfaction, wondering if you should flee into the woods, etc) I AM NOT A WOLF makes the reader expect the unexpected as they put it all on the line to protect their lupine secret.
The book will lead the reader through a day in the life of a wolf pretending to be a human man, asking the reader to make choices along the way. These diverging narratives are paired with illustrations from illustrator Sage Coffey, providing an experience equal parts narrative and visual with an estimate word count around 40,000 and at least twenty illustrations accompanying the various choices the reader makes along the way.
I AM NOT A WOLF holds up a mirror to society and forces us to look at our true nature. It’s a silly, hilarious, and nuanced look at life in an ever-changing society from an outside perspective. It’s about the lies we tell each other and the lies we tell ourselves. It’s also about wolves, which are very cool.
As the campaign progresses, we'll be adding some exciting new pledge levels and announcing stretch goals such as:
A WOLF plushie!
A custom-made WOLF coin!
& much more
ABOUT THE BOOK
- B-Format Hardback with head and tail bands.
- Approximately 224 pages, 40,000 words.
- Illustrated throughout with original line art.
- Fantastic pledge levels such as an exclusive NOT A WOLF Mug, the chance to name your own character, prints, badges, signed bookplates and many more.
Dan Sheehan is a writer from Chicago now living in Los Angeles. He created the wildly popular “NOT A WOLF” Twitter account which now boasts over 150,000 followers on Twitter and 70,000 followers on Facebook. His writing has been featured in Playboy, McSweeney’s,
The Onion, ClickHole, and more.
Dan is also one of the creators of the storytelling show and podcast “We Still Like You” which challenges performers to tell a story of true embarrassment and shame so that they can be forgiven by a loving audience en masse. Dan’s past projects include viral dating blog “I Suck At Tinder” which, while it was still actively being updated, had more than 100,000 followers on Facebook and received substantial press coverage.
Sage Coffey is a small nonbinary critter living it up in Chicago, IL. They graduated from SCAD Atlanta with a Bachelor's in Sequential art and Animation in 2015. Since 2016 they've edited Sweaty Palms, a comic anthology about anxiety.
Sage has done comic work for Comics for Choice, Dirty Diamonds, and The Dandelion & Wine Collective's The Sun and the Wayward Wind. They've worked for clients including Cards Against Humanity, Def Jam Entertainment, The Nib and Adult Swim.
You’re scared. You knew today was coming, but you thought it would be easier to do what needs to be done. You thought you’d find yourself overwhelmed with adrenaline and ready to complete the task at hand. You know nothing happens without hard work. Your mother used to say that the only guarantee any living thing has is that each moment of its life will be spent in a desperate fight to justify its existence. If she saw you now, she’d tell you that you’re a coward. She’d tell you that if you were going to do this, you’d have already done it. She’d wonder why you were even bothering. But your mother isn’t here, and today you’re going to do it. Today, you’re going to take a shower.
You are a wolf. But this is something the world can’t know. Some people aren’t ready to know, some aren’t willing to understand, but most are just terrified of wolves for some reason. You’ve spent much of your life integrating into human society. You have a job, an apartment, several online dating profiles, and a terrible roommate. But human beings are expected to maintain a certain level of cleanliness that you’ve let fall by the wayside. You refuse to risk sacrificing all that hard work just because you fear running water. It’s time to make this right. You ease your paws over the shower knob and gently move it to the left. The shower sputters to life, spraying harmless water into the tub. You watch the water run into the drain and glance back at the showerhead. Harmless. You leap into the tub and the water strikes you. At first you bristle at the sudden warmth but you take a deep breath and allow yourself to relax. It’s just water. You’re safe and soon, you’ll be clean too. You don’t find yourself showering often and you’re certain that your roommate won’t miss a little bit of his shampoo, so you wrap your jaws around his bottle of 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner. All you need to do is get a little bit of it on the floor of the tub so that you can evenly distribute it across your fur and bestow upon yourself the smell of “fresh rain” or at least its chemical approximation.
You squeeze your jaw shut to squeeze the shampoo when suddenly, the water gets hot. It shoots from a comfortable lukewarm temperature to something more along the line of hot knives and you suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable. Caleb must have run the dishwasher in the kitchen. Your jaw clamps down instinctively on the shampoo bottle with incredible pressure, causing your mouth to fill with a goop that tastes nothing like rain as the shampoo explodes into your eyes. You howl in rage and sprint out of the tub, blind. You run through what must be the shower curtain and tumble out of the bathroom and into the living room. Still completely wrapped in the shower curtain, you run towards what smells like your room and violently shut the door behind you. You escape the shower curtain and shake yourself dry, taking a moment to note that while you’ve definitely ruined the bathroom in a big way, you do smell less like dirt now. You really hope your roommate didn’t see that. Speaking of which, it’s time for breakfast and based on the nightmarish smell you’ve just caught on the air, Caleb is making his ridiculous vegan sausage patties again so you’ll be fending for yourself. As if that’s a new concept.
- 12th July 2019 Illustration Update!
Hey there gang, it's been a second.
I'm just coming off of a Fourth of July filled with meat and fireworks (which, by the way,The Wolf canonically enjoys despite the fact that they are loud and terrifying.) But I've also been working on book edits for the last few weeks! We're at a stage in the process where I'd love to spill the beans about everything that's happening but doing so would spoil…4th May 2019 It's done!
Hey everybody! After 5 months of work, the manuscript for I AM NOT A WOLF has been turned in to the fine folks at Unbound! I'm in the midst of a bit of post-writing burnout right now but it feels good to be done! Next, the manuscript goes through the editorial process where it'll be fine tuned and punched up and prepared for its release out into the world!
I'm incredibly pleased with what this…3rd December 2018 We are FUNDED
We did it! We funded a whole dang book! 110% actually! I just want to start by saying a huge thank you to everyone that's helped us get here on behalf of Sage and myself! We're SO excited to get to make this thing a reality.
So what happens now? In the coming weeks, we'll be announcing the release date for the book. In the meantime, Sage and I will be finishing the manuscript and illustrations…
These people are helping to fund I AM NOT A WOLF.