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You Took the Last Shed Home

Dear Team Shed,

It’s been a while. Maybe even as much as two or three whiles. But that’s time for you; it goes. Or as they say in Latin, tempit fugus. I once wrote a poem about where time goes, which went by the unlikely title of ‘Toby’.

It would soon be January again.

She did not know
where the year had gone.

Eventually she found it
hidden away
in a shoebox,
under the bed,
along with 1997
and 2005.

Toby.

He had taken the best years of her life.

That’s a poem which features on page 114 of my collection. I can now state this with something nearing certainty as I’m pleased to say that the book has now moved off publishing house desks and over onto good old-fashioned printing presses. Unbound have done a wonderful job in making the ugliness of my poetry look beautiful. I really hope you’ll think so, too, when you get your copies.

Publication date is all set for 6th October, just before elevenses. That day is also National Poetry Day, an occasion on which we remember all the fallen tercets and quatrains who gave up their lives at the Battle of Villanelle.

So that gives me two months to make good on all of the pledges – personalized poems, prints, poetry evenings, audio recordings and a special poem for you, Noble Inhabitants of the Shed. This may mean that, on some days, I shall need to rise before noon.

Accompanying this, I need to work out how on earth I might help to publicise the book whilst retaining my anonymity and any remaining shreds of my self-respect. On that thorny subject, here’s a short film in which you can see me hoovering and putting a plate in a dishwasher:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-36912255

I had better get on with all this poetry and housework. So goodbye until the next while, which I promise shall not be as long as the last one.

Brian

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