Every month or so the marketing bumf from Majestic Wine Warehouses comes through my door outlining their latest offers. It's normally bargain rioja. If you read the small print carefully you'll find that their glorious multibuy offers aren't available in Scotland:
"The Alcohol Scotland Act 2010 disallows any alcohol promotion offering customers a discount for buying multiple products in Scottish stores."
It seems peculiar that the adults of Scotland aren't allowed offers that encourage them to buy wine in quantities of more than one. Isn't that the whole point of visiting a wine warehouse? It's like being forbidden from having seconds at an all you can eat buffet. Admittedly it's probably healthier not to have seconds but shouldn't that be up to the customer? The Scots do undoubtedly like to drink to excess, as do many British people, but it is unlikely that laws such as these are going to make people in the so-called Bucky Triangle drink less. If I lived there I am sure I'd need a bit of extra intoxication to help me through the day.
The devolved Scottish Parliament is an expert at such pointless legislation. The Offensive Behaviour at Football and Threatening Communications Act makes it a crime to sing certain songs at football matches. Or the Children and Young People (Scotland) Act where every child born in Scotland has a guardian appointed by the state whose job it is to check up on the child's parents and intervene where necessary.
I suppose the big question is after independence - should it come - whether the new Scottish government will continue creating unenforceable new laws or whether they'll be too busy with the serious business of running a new country. I'd put money on the former. It seems crazy that Scotland's leaders trust their people with a vote to break up a 300 year old political union but not to buy six bottles of rioja.
At the moment the Marques de Riscal Reserva 09 at £9.99 when you buy two or more looks distinctly good value. But remember, if you do take advantage of this offer, stay within the government's drinking guidelines and for God's sake don't neck the whole bottle and start singing: 'Boys from the Old Brigade' - at least not if you're in Scotland.