Hello shedmates,
Thank you all for making it here today. I'm pleased to say that You Took The Last Bus Home is now even more funded than it was before - but if there's anything you can do to help get new supporters on board that would be magnificent. The more momentum we can get behind this project, the better - so when it publishes, it will be magically propelled to the top of the bestseller charts (category: Poetry Books written by Brians).
For reasons frequently unclear to me, one of the things I've done previously is to rewrite the lyrics of pop songs. For example, turning Blur's Parklife into a song about Noah's tending of the animals, Arklife. Or transforming an Arctic Monkeys song to address my own hopelessness at DIY, I Bet That You Look Good With a Handsaw. You get the kind of thing. I probably won't be including these in my book but I have written a new one, for all of you lovely people in my shed. It's also well-timed for Valentine's Day. It's a reworking of The B52s' song, Love Shack.
Love Shed
If you see a faded sign at the side of the road
that says "15 miles to the Love Shed"
Love Shed, yeah, yeah
I'm heading down the internet highway
Lookin' for Brian’s getaway
Oh Brian, please just get away
I got me a bike, it's as slow as a snail
And I’m headin' on down to the Love Shed
I got me a bike and I’ll give you a backie
Don’t forget to bring your lunchbox, honey.
The Love Shed is a little old place where we can get together.
Love Shed, baby (a-Love Shed, baby)
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed (Love, baby, that's where it's at)
Sign says "Stay away, Clarkson"
'Cos love rules at the Love Shed
Well, it's set right back at the bottom of the garden
Just a funny old shed and I gotta get back
Poem near the hand trowel
Poem on the Flymo
Poem in a plant pot
Poem on the Flymo
The Love Shed is a little old place where we can get together
Love Shed, baby (Love Shed, baby)
Love Shed, that's where it's at
Love Shed, that's where it's at
Thinking and a-writing
Scanning and a-rhyming
Wearing extra layers
'Cause the heating has failed
The whole shed shivers
Yeah, the whole shed shivers
The whole shed shivers so everybody's
Moving around and around and around and around
Everybody's growing, everybody's hoeing, baby
Folks trying hard not to make it fall down
Everybody's planting, everybody's chanting, baby
Funny little shed
Funny little shed
Hop on my bike, and we’ll follow the trail,
please don’t take the Daily Mail.
I got me a pipe, and you can bring the baccie
And don’t forget to take your lunchbox, honey.
The Love Shed is a little old place where we can get together
Love Shed, baby (a-Love Shed, baby)
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed (Love, baby, that's where it's at, yeah)
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed (Love, baby, that's where it's at)
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby
Knock a little louder, baby
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby
Brian can't hear you
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby
Knock a little louder, sugar
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby
Brian can't hear you
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby (Knock a little louder)
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby
Bang, bang (On the door, baby)
Bang, bang (On the door)
Bang, bang (On the door, baby)
Bang, bang
Your what?
Felt roof. Busted.
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed (Love, baby, that's where it's at, yeah)
Love Shed, baby, Love Shed (Love, baby, that's where it's at)
Love, baby, Love Shed
Thinking and a-writing
Scanning and a-rhyming
At the Love Shed.
There we go. Thanks, everyone.
Brian
x