An excerpt from


Alex Rawlings

Now Wulf was back to full health, he and Constansa set a good pace through the hills. They spent most of the time walking in a companionable silence, relishing the beauty of the land around them. Nature was in full ascendance, the fecundity of spring clearly evident in the new flowers and blossom that burst out into the fresh spring air.

They chose places to rest according to feeling rather than plan. Sometimes a soft seat of moss next to a babbling brook or the shade of a mighty oak would call to them, inviting them to rest and recuperate. In this way nature was their guide and Constansa took these moments to speak to Wulf of the spirit of these places, the aspects of the Earth’s living being that were unseen to the physical eye. Wulf could sense that these special places had a different quality to them. That somehow and in some way there was a clearer and deeper connection to nature there.

Constansa was an excellent teacher. She never spoke down to Wulf; rather she inspired in him the will to want to know more, to ask questions. In those rare moments where she felt she had no answer to give she was comfortable saying that she did not know and left Wulf to form his own opinion. Wulf, in turn, was an attentive and enthusiastic student and his insight and empathy were a pleasant surprise to Constansa. She relished these special moments where she could share the extraordinary perspective that was a part of her everyday life. To live in a way that meant you experienced many more layers of life than the average person, could, in some social circles, make you feel lonely amongst your fellow man. She had long ago learned to accept this and was so grateful to live in a community of people who could understand and share this view of the world. However, when someone like Wulf came along, willing to learn all she could offer, it was a rare treat to share in his gradual awakening. Sometimes it was like discovering this amazing depth to the world all over again, seeing it through the eyes of the student she initiated.

The path of the Graal was so different from the other philosophies and belief systems she had encountered. She recognised an underlying essence in them but the prescribed beliefs and heavy, wordy texts had nothing in common with her journey. For her it was about learning to open her eyes to see what was right there in front of her in a whole new way. Her connection with the Graal had transformed her experience of the world. From this connection her perception was continually renewed giving her a completely different understanding of life. At its heart this path was about rediscovering that the world, both inner and outer, was far deeper than most people had ever envisaged and to walk this path was one of the most incredible things she could imagine a man or a woman doing.

Wulf was beginning to glimpse this tremendous depth a little more every day. He naturally struggled with the conditioning that had been so deeply ingrained in him since he was a child. With each small step the vista opened in front of him and at times he was left breathless at its scope. There were moments too where, as the walls within him fell away and he came closer to his true nature, he would weep at the beauty of what he felt inside. To come home into the profound love that resides at the centre of creation was a truly beautiful experience; it softened even the hardest heart.

“What is the Graal?” asked Wulf one evening as they made camp and prepared their simple meal.

Constansa took a moment to feel for the right words inside before she answered.

“How have you heard of this?” she asked kindly.

“I heard you and Lothar mention it while you talked together. I only ask because the word stood out to me. It makes my guts tingle when I think of it.”

He blushed ashamed that he could not find a better way of describing his reaction.

Constansa smiled, she understood all too well.

“Well it is many things and one thing.”

She saw Wulf frown and searched for a better answer. Her intuition was telling her she could speak freely.

“Let me say this to you now Wulf. In one way the Graal is a physical object, a special stone that holds a key that is a gift to all humanity. It is also a journey that a person makes within themselves that changes them as they travel. If we make that journey we discover that we are all a part of something far greater than we could have ever imagined. You see, our destiny is to find and experience that amazing truth for ourselves and live in this world in a way that we are truly awake to it. It changes everything.”

Wulf was still frowning but this time she could see that he was concentrating, working hard to understand the deeper meaning of her words. He knew by now she was not trying to be purposely elusive. Some things were just hard to put into words.

“Do you carry this object with you?” he asked.

Constansa was amazed; she had hoped that she had given no sign that she carried anything of importance.

“Yes I do Wulf. My responsibility is to make sure that it is safe from those that would use it for their own ends. They imagine it will give them power over others or power to live forever. These ideas are absurd but they exist strongly enough in the minds of those that seek it that they would do great harm to lay their hands on it. You are helping me now; you do a good thing to help me keep it safe.”

“What is its purpose, what is this gift within it?”

“I think you may have to wait until we reach our destination, there is a man there who may be better qualified to answer these questions you have. I will say this. When you look out into the stars next time, open yourself to the possibility that they are older and stretch farther than you can imagine. There are those who have walked this path to awakening before us and have reached a level of understanding and personal growth that has allowed them to go beyond the physical. They have taken on the role of helping other forms of life to grow and reach their full potential. The key they gift us with is the key to the doorway of our own awakening so that we may prosper from their wisdom and experience and step into a new awareness with confidence.”

Wulf sat in silence trying to absorb all that he had been told. It was almost too much to take in and he decided to leave it resting in his mind until further understanding helped him put it in its place. He was well aware of the scale of the mystery that life now offered him. He wondered what the priests of his youth would make of it. They had always been so confident that they knew all the answers. It took a huge amount of courage and humility to own such a mystery and not shy from the insecurity it caused. Even so he felt that anyone who was brave enough to face uncertainty with just their intuition as their guide would stand a better chance of meeting truth, whatever that may be.