He was Left Scratching his Head

Thursday, 2 March 2017

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Harry Halibut of Short & Curlies cancels his pledge for the Author’s crowdfunded masterpiece ‘Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ and complains bitterly to the publishers. “They should have explained! I thought I was buying ‘Welcome to Scurf - the Illustrated Barbers Bible’ he grumbled.  

He Has Water on the Brain

Monday, 6 February 2017


Dermont Dexter, three times world champion bodyboarder, makes a pledge for ‘Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ on the recommendation of friends, only to cancel his order a few days later.  ‘I don’t hear so good,’ he explained. ‘I got this water in my ears. I thought they’d said ‘Welcome to Surf’

The Author Lost the Weight

Tuesday, 24 January 2017


Brenda Draylon suddenly withdraws her pledge for ‘Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ after discovering she has mistaken the title for the popular self-help book ‘Welcome to Girth - the fast track diet for gals who need to gain those cuddly extra pounds!’

He Told Him To Eat Dirt

Sunday, 15 January 2017


An uncomfortable few days after popular author Chester Conklin demands that ‘Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ is withdrawn from crowdfunding, accusing the Author of plagiarising his own best-seller ‘Welcome to Earth & Mud Wraps’ - the alternative remedy blockbuster extolling the virtues of a whole earth diet and presently riding high in the New York Times Bestseller List.  Meanwhile…

Release the Hounds!

Monday, 5 December 2016


Major Chumleigh-Blighter, Master of Hounds, threatens to horsewhip the Author after having made a substantial pledge for the new book ‘Welcome to Earth’ and discovering, too late, that it’s ‘an imaginary encyclopaedia’ and not the story of a comical fox family living in the woods of Rutland. 

Fatal Distraction

Friday, 21 October 2016

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After the Author has published the list of perks for pledges to his new book ‘Welcome to Earth - an Imaginary Encyclopaedia’ Kaylee and Morris Butcher want to know how much they must pledge for a swinging threesome weekend with the Author in a local Travel Lodge. When he explains that he can’t oblige, they ask him if he knows anyone else who’ll do it for the money.  


Now this won't hurt a bit!

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

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Be brave. And you could have one of the Ten Cardinal Fears  or Six Inscrutable Diseases named in honour of someone special. It’s quick and easy. And you won’t feel a thing.  But imagine how thrilled they’ll be when they discover you’ve made their name glorious in the pages of ‘Welcome to Earth - the imaginary encyclopaedia’  Check those perks for pledges!

She Took a Dive

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

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Ooops! While attending an Unbound group crowdfunding event to promote his own book “Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopedia’ the Author is obliged to phone for an ambulance after witnessing romantic novelist Winifred Badger leap from the stage in a failed attempt at crowd surfing.y


She had a Message from the Spirit World.

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

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Mrs Bunny Pilchard, president-for-life of the British Psychics Writing and Drawing Circle abruptly withdraws her pledge for the Author’s crowdfunded ‘Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia ’ after discovering that the book isn’t a true account of the dearly departed returning to Earth from the astral plane, but a work of fiction.  “Well, it’s quite wrong,” she grumbled. “He’s just the sort…

Embarrassing Moments.

Tuesday, 20 September 2016


The Ten Cardinal Fears - No.3 Aphenphosmphobia.  Another page from the indispensable encyclopaedia Welcome to Earth.  Required reading for residents.  


He Simply Lost His Appetite.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

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During another attempt to promote his new book ‘Welcome to Earth - an Imaginary Encyclopaedia' the Author is presented to the ten-year-old wunderkind Macaulay Binge. After the phenomenal success of his BBC TV shows ‘Finger Food for the Over Forties’ and ‘Simple Snacks for Seniors’ Macaulay wrote a series of best-selling cookery books, a blockbuster novel, two volumes of poetry and a food column for…

Work in Progress

Monday, 5 September 2016

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A new illustration for The Six Most Inscrutable Diseases from ‘Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ You’ll be enchanted to learn that for a trifling consideration you can now have a disease named in your honour. Yes, it’s true! Imagine the pride you’ll feel when one of the world’s most peculiar complaints officially bears YOUR name! Will it be Giant Budgerigar Madness or Alien Hand Syndrome…

Milk & Biscuits with the Rich & Famous

Sunday, 28 August 2016

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As part of the campaign to promote his new book, ‘Welcome to Earth’- an Imaginary Encyclopaedia’ the Author is invited to meet five-year-old celebrity author, singer, songwriter, tap dancer, UN goodwill ambassador, fund-raiser and award-winning interior designer, Britney Woggle. Her Booker Prize nominated first novel "Woggle World" has been the biggest sensation since the twelve-year-old giant of…

Home to Roost

Sunday, 21 August 2016

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After launching the crowdfunding for his new book “Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ the Author is accused of plagiarism by Cyril Sprout whose own book ‘Welcome to Earth - the Complete Guide to Garden Spadework ’ was first published in 1957.  After a heated argument Cyril agrees to settle out of court if the Author buys him a new caravan.


Setting the world alight.

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

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Hurrah! ‘Welcome to Earth’ is now 20% funded. I think that calls for a small celebration.  And heartfelt thanks to everyone with enough of the pioneering spirit to make early pledges on the book.  


Lost in Translation

Saturday, 13 August 2016

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After their early enthusiasm for the Author’s crowd-funding project to publish his imaginary encyclopaedia ‘Welcome to Earth’, angry Australian matriarchs Sheila and Marigold Minger demand to have their pledge money returned, discovering that they haven't invested in a travel guide called  ‘Welcome to Perth’  Angry Marigold grumbled, ‘We thought he was a local bloke. But he’s just another bleeding…

Captain's Log

Saturday, 6 August 2016

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Sheridan Dingle withdraws his pledge in support of the Author’s new crowd-funded book ‘Welcome to Earth’ when he discovers that it’s not a Science Fiction saga about hostile visitors from another galaxy.  ‘Bleedin’ cheek!’ he complained, from the flight deck in his bungalow bedroom.  ‘How d’you expect to be taken seriously when you can’t even get the name right!’

He Barely Made an Impression

Sunday, 31 July 2016

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The Author’s first attempt to raise readers’ support for his new book ‘Welcome to Earth - an Imaginary Encyclopaedia’ gets a mixed reception at the Scrotum & Foresters Working Mens Club. “Not your fault, pal. They usually get a stripper on a Thursdays” the management explains.

Welcome - Welcome to Earth!

Monday, 25 July 2016

Doffing hat

O Best Beloved, you're among the first supporters of the encyclopaedia, and so most precious. I hope we'll have fun on this grand adventure.



Still funding
43% funded
90 backers