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Are you a lazy bastard but still want to change the world?

Then this is the book for YOU!

Let comedy writer Jane Stead and cartoonist Tat Effby show you how to bypass politicians and tax-evading corporates and use ALL the money you earn to change the world. Because our right to vote isn’t ENOUGH democracy anymore. We want change and, frankly, we bloody well wanted it yesterday. People say the British concept of anarchy is saying, ‘No, thanks’ to a cup of tea. NOT. ANY. MORE.

BE a washing machine

Yes, this book is promoting real-life money laundering.

We already vote every day for the kind of world we want by spending our money in certain ways. But by changing how and where we spend our money, we can support companies and people who - like you - want the world to be a better place.

What is the point of spending your whole life in an uninspiring job making money for twatty rich lazy capitalists and then… then… THEN giving all the money you earn BACK to the twatty rich lazy capitalists? Now our money can go to good companies and, in supporting them, we can reshape the economy, the world. And this book will show you how.

You could put your pay-cheque into your Hotpoint. Or you could use your brain. Or, to be on the safe side, borrow Jane's brain.

If washing machines aren’t magical enough, be an ALCHEMIST

Using a more elevated metaphor - this book will teach you to turn base money into gold - using 10 simple steps.

First, a secret. Not even the CIA or FBI or M&S know this. Ready? 10 years ago, Jane and Tat were not alchemists either. Jane was making money from a job she hated, in a company she hated, in a world she hated.

But she wasn’t in a position to give up her eeevil job and go change the world because her children kept asking for food. On and on and on. Every day, they wanted more food. Sometimes, even shoes.

So what could she do to stop feeling so utterly crap as a human bean in the 5th wealthiest country in the world?

She listed things she could change without having to do much 'cos she's incredibly lazy. Then, she started doing them.

She started cleansing her mucky money as it went through her and out the other end. (She wasn’t eating it.)

As her money was transformed, so was she.

Everything became golden and filled with light (slight exaggeration). She was a true alchemist. She was turning base metal into pure gold.

Pledge now and she will show you the magic, too.

Aren’t we all just exhausted at how BIG all the problems are? And where do you start? And what can you do? And where is your time? And where’s your money? And where’s the fucking vodka?

Well, no more.

Because in 10 easy steps, you too can be a washing machine or a 21st-century alchemist. Or you can just simply and every day ‘Vote With Your Money’.

The Book

  • Bespoke dimensions - 111x178 mm - with black & white illustrations throughout
  • Hardback, high quality print
  • 192 pages
  • More levels and stretch goals to be announced!

Jane Stead has over 25 years’ writing experience in journalism, radio and comedy, so is devastatingly cynical which is always attractive in a middle-aged woman.
After a degree in English and a massive addiction to dry cider, she was twice runner-up in the Sunday Telegraph Young Woman Journalist of the Year, became a member of the Comedy Rep at the Soho Theatre and a founder member and contributor to The Poke, and won five international radio-writing awards and all while feeding some children – mostly her own.
Then it was an MA in Creative Writing and the Curtis Brown Novel Writing course and writing comedy for the past 4 years at the Brighton Fringe.
She is STILL paying the bastard mortgage (silly girl forgot to marry a city broker) so is STILL a freelance writer in London. Jane writes fiction too - bleak, intense and mostly about death - but this is her cheery book written when she was mistakenly double-dosing her SSRIs.



Tat Effby is a cartoonist and illustrator whose work has been published by Private Eye (Back in The Day series), The Guardian and Cath Tate Cards. She lives in Shrewsbury which she pronounces as ‘Shroosbury’ not ’Shrowsbury'.

Chapter one - Is it about meth?

Sort of.

This book is about how you can use ALL the money you earn to change the world.

And the good news is that you hardly even have to move from the sofa. Because we are magical beings - or we were before the obsession with logic took over and spoiled our fun - I’m going to use the metaphor of alchemy to get you all excited about a very simple idea.

You say, what is alchemy anyway. I’m re-watching Breaking Bad for the eighth time and at that bit with the psychopathic twins.
I say, alchemy is a bit like Breaking Bad. At least the meth part. Alchemy is the ancient science of transformation. Turning worthless into priceless. Turning base metal into gold. Shit into shinies. But no actual blue crystal at this stage.


You say, so what is 21st Century alchemy then?

I say, it’s the modern science of transformation. Turning your basic salary into global gold. Using your freedom of choice about where to put your money to change the world. What is the point of spending your whole life in an uninspiring job making money for twatty rich lazy capitalists and then… then… THEN giving all the money you earn BACK to the twatty rich lazy capitalists? That IS a sort of madness. We’re trapped in a circle of capitalism and it feels wrong inside because IT IS. But now we can escape. Now our money can go to good companies and in supporting them, we can reshape the economy, the world. You know, like alchemy? Funny symbols, bit dark, witchy, wizardy, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter. It’s all a bit like when people recycle old tin cans and make unusual and beautiful giraffes.


You say, that’s nice, but I’m not into sculpting giraffes...
I say, you don’t have to be because 21st Century Alchemy is not entirely about giraffes. It’s a more modern version of alchemy, which is less giraffey. By using your salary more wisely, however you earn it, the economy can be transformed. We can side with the goodies to defeat the baddies. We can all be Wonder Woman or Spiderman. In actual real life.

You say, are you sure you don’t make meth.

I say, I’m sure.

Read more...

4%? Fuck. Why didn't I just do a fun run?

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

If I have ever made your life more bearable in any way, please will you pledge for my first book.

I will NEVER ask you for money for a fun run because I don't run or have fun. The two together would be catastrophic.

So this is your chance.

Please pledge today. It will make me happy momentarily. Yes, my ego is that hungry.

HUGE THANKS TO THOSE WHO ALREADY HAVE - you clearly love me the…

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