Editing Time's Fool, I was struck by how seldom Sophia was seen without a glass of something in her hand. Those who know her creator, however, understand that I am abstemious, practically teetoal, and would never do something so undignified as get hammered. However, my hometown is historically famous for distilling gin - a practice that has recently been restarted by The Maiden Distillery, who make a gin they describe as "fresh, bright and bursting with flavour."

Known as history buffs, my partner and I were kindly given a bottle for Christmas, an act of generosity which contained one minor oversight:

Gin tastes like licking the devil's armpits.

However, my partner prevailed upon me to sample it, saying it was "warming, with a sweet liquorice aftertaste."

Well, he videoed me, and I promised to share it if I raised £100. So:

If you appreciate fine gins, please do support the Maiden Distillery by purchasing their artisanal gin. Just don't make me drink any. http://www.maidendistillery.co.uk/distillery-about.htm

If you like seeing me humilated, please suggest other things with which I might mortify my tastebuds for your amusement.