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Your Last Chance to ASSURE YOUR LEGACY!

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

I know it has been quite a drawn-out process, but the production of Alan Cadbury’s second adventure, The Way, The Truth and The Dead, is now well in hand. The editing process is finished and the manuscript (or rather its digital equivalent) must now be finalised, in every detail, ready for sending to the printer in the new year. Subscribers should receive their copies in May. So I have done my level best to sort-out any inconsistencies in the actual text, and given that it’s a fairly substantial book, that has been a painstaking process. And now it’s your turn. If you’ve been kind enough to subscribe you will just have received an email asking you to check that your name (or names, as some people buy subscriptions for friends) have been copied-in correctly. If they are correct, then there’s no need to do anything. If not, click where the email shows you (‘change’ in green beneath the name/names). But if you haven’t yet got round to subscribing, now’s the chance to do it. You will be able to subscribe later, but if you do that, you won’t get your name into the back of the printed book. Do it now and there it will be: your name enshrined for ever, for future generations to wonder at.

If you do subscribe, people will see you in an entirely new light, as someone with wealth and taste, in equal measure. Your legacy will be assured. Prime Ministers and Presidents sweat blood worrying about their legacies to Posterity. But why? I’ve never understood, when all they needed to have done was to subscribe to one of my books. How vain of them to think of themselves alone! Can’t they see that a legacy, a genuine lasting legacy that will be universally acknowledged, won’t be guaranteed by attacking Iraq, or by building a wall, even if you can persuade somebody else to pay for it. No, if the likes of Blair and Trump had subscribed to The Lifers’ Club, they would now be seen in a more beneficial light. So please, don’t repeat their mistakes, don’t walk away from reading this blog post, having done nothing. Because if you do, you will regret it for life. Pause and think: Francis Pryor, that most generous, warm-hearted, gifted and kind – yes meltingly kind, as his many thousands of lady friends across the globe nightly attest – has offered me this final opportunity to subscribe to a book that has taken him months to complete, shut away, as he was, in his lonely Fenland farmhouse, with nothing to nourish his mind or body than the occasional oyster washed down with cheap Cava. How could you NOT subscribe??? I know I would. And I’d do it several times, under many variants of my name:

Frances Pryor

Francis Prior

Frank Pryor

Frank Prior

Professor F.M.M. Pryor

Professor F.M.M. Prior

Lord Pryor of Baldock

The Hon. Francis Prior

The Revd. Francis

Etc. etc.

So the List of Subscribers closes at the end of December. And then, that’s it. The steel-clad doors will have crashed shut. The portcullis will have dropped. The drawbridge will have risen. And cauldrons of boiling oil will be readied to drop on anyone stupid enough to try and join what will soon become the Hallowed List of Enlightened Subscribers. Who knows, one day the names on that list might appear on a memorial tablet in Poets’ Corner? God knows, those people have shown sufficient imagination and vision. They deserve to be there. Or to stand behind the saintly Bob when he fails to collect his Nobel Prize. So if you can, and haven’t done so already, please subscribe (even if only to the cheap and nastylovely e-book). So click HERE. I can guarantee, you won’t regret it. In fact, future generations will… [that’s enough hyperbole for this blog, Francis. It’s time you shut up – Ed.].

Merry Christmas! Fx

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Comments

Patrick Limming
Patrick Limming says:

Oh dear Francis; you've over indulged on the Cava again by the looks of it!
Seasons Greetings! Patrick . (The less capable but more modest author!)

December 20, 2016

Helene Levenson
Helene Levenson says:

"meltingly kind, as his many thousands of lady friends across the globe nightly attest..."
Does Maisie know about this? (Obviously, she does now). You must not confide in Alan C in the future. But then, perhaps, he will not confide in you - and there might not be future books involving our second favourite archaeologist, however his name is spelt.

December 20, 2016

Stan C Waterman
Stan C Waterman says:

Wow ! That was good, very very good infact! Eagerly awaiting the book Sir !

December 20, 2016

David Cranstone
David Cranstone says:

That Is magnificent!
I hope these steel-clad gates will be of the Earl of Shrewsbury's finest 16th century finery-process steel (hey, getting my own plug in here!).
And can I add a further title:
"His Titanic Magnificence the Greatest and Most Chiefly of Hypelords, the Prior of Seadykes in the County of Lincolnshire on the Planet of Earth in the Solar System of His Magnificence's Universe"
And let no thought of either Calamities and Smaug (anyone spot the Hobbit reference in that lot?), or of Four-Funnelled F*ck-ups a la Steve Bell cross your minds - how could even think of such unworthy things!?
Merry Christmas Francis, Maisie and everyone.

December 20, 2016

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Publication date: May 2017
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