Dexter has a complex over the fact that all his friends are getting married and moving in with their partners – but when aliens invade, it puts a lot of things into perspective.
English teacher Dexter feels like he’s being taunted by the universe. Everywhere he turns he’s accosted by wedding invitations, housewarming parties and tables for two. Every last one of his friends is settling down with their other halves, while Dexter spends his evenings marking schoolbooks with his ginger cat for company. The thing is, he doesn’t even mind being single; he just wishes his friends were too.
After another wedding ends in a drunken disaster, Dexter is musing on the situation and wondering what he’s going to screw up next, when he gets the shocking reminder that he’s not the centre of the universe. An alien spaceship has landed on the continent and when first contact is made, it’s anything but friendly.
Humanity’s numbers dwindle immediately, and the survivors are left to do exactly that – survive. Dexter gathers his friends and they all set off on a mission across the country, each with the goal of preserving their own lives in this new world. But these aliens are two-headed, tenacious and have technology beyond anything seen on Earth, so saving the day looks more and more unlikely as they track down Dexter’s motley crew. In the end, perhaps it is the one thing Dexter dislikes most that will help him survive, if he can just stop thinking about himself for one minute.
Written to subvert any story that insists on including a romance subplot, as well as any science fiction story where untrained amateurs inexplicably have the right skills to save the day, The Third Wheel shines a light on those who are just trying to make it through to tomorrow in the face of overwhelming odds.
What appears to be a door on the side of the craft slides open and there are immediately two figures present in the gap. They appear vaguely human, although very tall, but they are mere shadows due to the way the lighting falls. Cameras are too far away, but the BBC cameraman, hands apparently shaking like an aspen in a high wind is trying to zoom in.
“What the actual…” begins Alex, but Ruby shushes him, and the three of us (four if you include Catsby, who seems to sense that something strange was happening) stare open-mouthed at the screen. The aliens – they had to be aliens – are still several feet from the ground, and it is now clear that they are wearing some sort of spacesuits. As they take one step forward to the very edge of the door, something else becomes clear.
It isn’t two figures, it’s one. What I had taken to be the two large round heads of a pair of aliens belonged to the same creature, one with – apparently – two arms and two legs, but also two heads, each encased in its own helmet. The streets around these events – taking place in the coastal Norwegian town of Moss – are packed with people but absolutely silent. You could’ve heard a photograph cough.
The world freezes and then there is a little flicker of something bottle green in the corner of my eyes.
“Did you just…”
“Yes,” says Ruby-and-Alex. The bottle green is replaced with the turquoise of Caribbean oceans, which slides seamlessly into onyx. The figure steps from the door and floats down to terra firma, landing silently on asphalt. The heads don’t look at one another, but nonetheless you get the sense they are communicating. Occasionally I see flashes of colour – maroon and cream, chestnut and tangerine – but the planet is, for the most part, silent.
The cameras have zoomed in as far as they can, but what the alien actually looks like under its suit remains a mystery. The helmets have small black visors in a position that suggests their eyes are located in the same place as ours. The alien reaches for a silvery pack on its chest and holds it up to one of the visors, apparently looking at something. It thumbs at something on the pack and then clips it back onto its chest.
“What’s it doing?” whispers Ruby.
The Edit Is Complete!
Friday, 6 July 2018
Well, the final commas are in place, the t's are all crossed and the kerning is spot on. What's next? Now I'm just waiting to hear about the cover designs and then the end is in sight. Thank you all for your patience and for people who keep asking me when it's coming, my answer remains, "Soon!" although the page says this summer sometime. Given the weather we've had though, summer could be a long…
So, what's happening?
Sunday, 29 April 2018
Apologies for the radio silence one and all! What with the editing and various other things I've been a bit lax in keeping you in the loop.
The structural edit is now complete and the novel gained several thousand extra words and a handful of new scenes, which I'm thrilled about and can't wait to share with you. And if you pledged for the reward that will net you a few extra chapters unseen by…
Thursday, 15 March 2018
I thought I better just give an update to let you all know what's going on with the book. I've been working with the editor Debi Alper for the last few weeks to help give the novel a structual edit. This is (hopefully) the biggest edit of the novel in which she and I explore what needs correcting in regards to plot, character and the general structure of the novel. I'm thrilled to…
WE DID IT!
Saturday, 27 January 2018
We did it! "The Third Wheel" is going to be a reality! I am humbled by the support this project has recieved, I cannot thank you all enough for your support and really hope that you'll enjoy the book.
So I am hugely indebted to all of you for helping me achieve this goal. A million thank yous to Chris, Phil, Rachel, Chris, Jackie, Sabrina, Dave, Kevin, Katherine, Pat, Ed, Helen, Katie, Amanda,…
Ninety five per cent!
Thursday, 25 January 2018
Flippin' heck ladies and gentlemen! The book is now 95% funded which means we're now just 5% away from getting this book into shops, into the world and, most importantly, into your hands. Again, thank you so much to everyone who has supported me on this journey so far, but it's now almost at an end. We need to secure the final little bit now in the next week to make this book a reality!…
14% to go!
Thursday, 18 January 2018
Thanks for all the support so far. I am thrilled to announce that there's just 14% of the target to go! I've now got until the end of January to reach the total, so if there are still people you think you love to be part of this and help see the book get born, please spread the word in person, via social media, or by carrier pigeon, if that's your preferred method.
Thank you very…
Thursday, 7 December 2017
Merry Christmas, one and all! I thought it was about time I gave you all a sneak peek of what to expect of the story, so as an early Christmas present, here is the beginning of chapter three of The Third Wheel , in which Dexter is attending a wedding and encounters his most recent ex-girlfriend, with whom he never felt he belonged. Enjoy!
The weather is uncharacteristically perfect. Lara-and…
Pledge Party Update
Tuesday, 14 November 2017
If you saw the original text of this post, you will see that I was supposed to be at a Pledge Party this coming Monday. Unfortunately, due to a mix up of dates, the event has been cancelled and will hopefully be rearranged for January. I will let you know as soon as I know anything, but there's still plenty of time to donate, so you can still do that - plus that doesn't factor in…
Sunday, 12 November 2017
Thanks once more to everyone who has pledged support to my novel so far - I'm happy to say that I'm now sitting pretty at 69% with 72 of you throwing your support behind the project. But time is of the essence now my friends - I have until the end of November to get that final 31% and see the book published. Surely you want that too?
I simply ask, if you've already supported, can…
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
It’s been a long couple of months, but I’m pleased to report that my novel, The Third Wheel, is now 65% funded! That’s nearly two-thirds of the way there! Thank you so much to everyone who has pledged support so far, now I just need a little more help to push it up to the 100% mark and get it out there for everyone to read!
Please share the book with friends, family, colleagues and enemies and…
Monday, 16 October 2017
So, today (16 October) across Britain we faced yellowed skies as our world fell into sepia tones thanks to the remnants of Hurricane Ophelia picking up sand from the Sahara and ash from the Iberian wildfires. Most unnerving of all for me, however, is that yellow skies is the primary indication in my novel, The Third Wheel, that aliens are about to invade.
If you want to know how to survive the…
Wednesday, 4 October 2017
Well, in just over a month we've got the book a third funded, and I literally couldn't have done it without the support of everyone who has pledged so far! Thank you so much for your belief in me and willingness to help.
I've been hard at work editing the novel the last couple of weeks to ensure I provide you with the best novel I am capable of writing - I can't wait for you all to read it! You…
Meet the Characters
Saturday, 2 September 2017
As we all know, a book is nothing without its characters. They could be blood-sucking vampires, wealthy socialites, Belgian detectives or ex-gods and witches, but they all bring the story to life in their own unique ways. In The Third Wheel, the characters we're following are little more grounded. Here's a quick glance at who they are.
Dexter is our narrator and hero. He's a teacher who is struggling…
Saturday, 26 August 2017
I can't believe it! We've already made 17% in four days! That's utterly incredible, isn't it? Thank you so much to everyone who has pledged so far, you're all superstars. I can't wait to welcome more people into the fold. If you've already signed up, I'd be greatly honoured if you'd share it with friends and relatives who you think may be interested in the novel. Watch this space for more insider…
These people are helping to fund The Third Wheel.