Scene - TV studio set with hackneyed panel game set design, and bored, hackneyed panel to match. Crew flit noiselessly in the penumbral shadows, skilfully navigating the nest of semi-coiled cables, snaking the stage floor perimeter. On-screen talent in question, turning shades of ruddy roast, beneath the scorching stage lights, biting their lips to hold in the waves of contumelious indignation, as they are forced to await the one whom they know to be the real star of the show. And here he is… at last!
Compère (for it is he): Thangyouthangyouthangyou. Yes, I know <CANNED LAUGHTER>. Have we got a great show for you tonight? I don't know, <turns to celebrity panel> let's ask these grooooovie freaks <MORE CANNED LAUGHTER> <audible harrumph from panel member>
<< Extended and embrrassingly painful introduction of panel ensues, which we have edited out for legal reasons >
Compère (the same): Well that's just fine. Thanks for that Miss Francis, and I hope little Frou-Frou is feeling better just real soon <YET MORE CANNED LAUGHTER>. We’re now going to kick off with a star turn. Yes, that's right folks, we have a brand new celebrity "mystery guest”, and it's your job to guess who it is ! <CANNED LAUGHTER, AGAIN> Hahaaa. Yes, that all you’ve got to do folks, and you could be the lucky winner of one of our terrific book prizes. <audience OOOOHs> So, without further a-doobie-doobie-do <CRINGED LAUGHTER>, blind folds on please panel. Come on, you know what to do <CANED LAUGHTER>
Aaaaaaaand nooow, very extra special celebrity, "mystery guest", pul-leeeease <CANNED LAUGHTER>, enterrrrrrr and siiiiiiiign in…
But seriously folks, all you have to do is be one of the supporters of this book THE DISSENT OF MAN and identify the mystery guest from their signature above. Please email your answer to ……… email@example.com
by the end of next Sunday, 25th September, 2016 (BST), and the lucky winner will be announced shortly thereafter.
If you are not yet one of the book supporters / subscribers, simply pop over to the pledging page and choose from the exciting range of levels on offer, from, e-book, hardback, artwork, statues, to appearing in the book yourself.
And YOU could be choosing a title or two from this bumper bag of burr-rrilliant books:
Gilbert White - The Natural History of Selborne; Simon Gurr & Eugene Byrne - Darwin, A Graphic Biography; Bertrand Russell - The Problems of Philosophy; Jesse Bering - The God Instinct; Matt Ridley - The Origins of Virtue; Julian F. Derry - Darwin in Scotland; Rebecca Stott - Darwin’s Ghosts; Sean Carroll - Endless Forms Most Beautiful; Yevgeny Zamyatin - We; Charles Doughty - Arabia Deserta.
There's certainly some 5-star quality in that lot!
GOOD LUCK - NOW GO SEND THAT EMAIL
Join 309 other awesome people who subscribe to new posts on this blog.