The Decade in Tory
By Russell Jones
A hilarious, furious & absolutely true comedy about the most hapless government since the last one
Publication date: October 2022
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That man who wrote that thing you once retweeted is back, and this time you can’t retweet him.
If you loved RussInCheshire's The Week In Tory, you’ll hate The Decade In Tory, an inglorious black comedy about the relentless stream of ineffectual, divisive bum-slurry that’s poured from Downing Street since 2010. Their interminable failures will be examined in chapters covering Equality, Health, Education, Democracy, Brexit, Law, Media, Covid 19 and Corruption.
[Correction: the chapter on corruption will examine their successes.]
The book breaks down the government’s breakdowns by category, so you can skip straight to the bit that most endangers your kids’ futures, and bathe in the warm fury. We start with the Cameron government’s pledge to tackle inequality with policies that directly contributed to 140,000 deaths, and reduced UK life expectancy for the first time since 1841.
Then we move onto the NHS, where Andrew Lansley’s “efficiency-based reforms” led to admin costs rising 180%, and a hospital being charged £52,000 to re-hang a door.
And then there’s education, where cuts before the pandemic even began meant schools commonly had to close half a day a week because they couldn’t afford to remain open. And even today, promises to “level up” funding actually mean a £1.3 billion shortfall by 2022. And all this in the 7th richest nation that has ever existed in the entire history of the world.
But it’s not all fun and games. The book also covers the bewildering storm of lies and betrayals that led to Brexit, and the ongoing fallout from that demented period. And of course, it will examine the response to Covid-19, which the government took so seriously that for his first brain-dump onto a frightened public, Boris Johnson chose to be interviewed just after a segment where Phillip Schofield got his head stuck in a wigwam for dogs.
It was during that single, uninterrupted stream of consciousness that Boris Johnson, barely distinguishable from a haystack cursed by a witch, suggested we “take it on the chin”, whilst avoiding any “draconian measures” and simultaneously taking “all the measures that we can” to stop the disease.
It was only a short, reassuring step from there to the government announcing it was safe to share cars with a stranger, as long as “the driver doesn’t look to the left”, and then they really hit their stride as Dominic Cummings finally put Durham on the map, then wiped his arse with that map, and attempted to flush it down the nation’s throat.
The Decade In Tory is the perfect gift for left-wingers who love to be confused about whether they should laugh, right-wingers who love to be angry at the truth, and millennials who just need something to burn so they can stay warm.
About the book:
- High-quality, demy hardback
- Approx. 368 pages, 85,000 words
- EXCLUSIVE pledge levels available.
- You've retweeted the tweet - now buy the book!
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