Boom - it be Friday...
...Unless you’re not in the office today and haven’t opened your email until Monday in which case that first statement is both a lie and let-down. (A familiar feeling for a certain 1st lady I suppose.)
Let’s plough on, because we all have cocktails and bunking off to get to, this Friday. The last few weeks have been a bit gougy, I hit a wall hard, with the dick number 74%. Which is now my least favourite number, he and I will be having serious words and a few naughty-boy spanks. (Not the talcum powder and leather kind either.)
But that’s behind us all now, and we’re at my new favourite numeral, the scrummy curves of the gorgeous 88%. Cue a few whoops and arms swings and a general rowdiness. Nor from me though, ok maybe a little bit me, but whatever the big boys say I’m not the ring leader at all.
So the reason I’m here is because, I can’t help myself. I’m a fiddler, a diddler, a player of words, and I have had my elbows deep in the Sour Fruit manuscript. I pulled out a doozy, a whole brand new wide eyed shiny extract from my book, and if you like seat of your pants smeary prose then head on over. You might be disappointed but that could just be your life.
Thank you to everyone who has pledged, we’re so close I can taste the pretentious business cards that I’m going to have made up. ‘Eli Allison; International Word Ninja and Author.’ Or something with Tsar in it.
Any who, drop the mic, or peace out or something. I really don’t care I’m off to down a bucket of something heaving in alcohol.
Warning there is some explicit material in the new extract; mentions of swears, and acts involving packs of mince. So if your sensitive consider yourself warned, but also maybe open your mind a bit more, your Fridays will thank you.
The bunny represents me in about 3.2 hours.
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