There can be only one

Friday, 24 November 2017

The black quay

Mini Update

So my Sour Fruit manuscript has now winged its way to my Copy Editor, who will comb and comb and comb until everything is as shiny and glossy as an Afghan hound at Crufts. What do Copy Editors do you ask? They make grammar their bitch.

Before we continue I’d like us to bow our heads for a moment's silence while we think of the poor soul having to check MY spelling, grammar…

Goddamn Grace Jones on Crack Delusion

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Muti lemon bag

 So this Update has been a long time coming, like Leo’s Oscar or the second season of  Twin Peaks or Mrs Ryan Gosling*. Wink wink.  

*I know that Mrs  Ryan Gosling is actually a successful woman in her own right, the wonderful Eva Mendes, but the joke doesn’t work if I say her name, because let’s face it, unless your wading through The Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame you probably have no…

Blow Your Nipples Off!

Thursday, 24 August 2017

So super huge, jungle-sized blow your nipples off thank you!

What can I say, the sarcasm crusted creature I keep in my rib cage wants to make some flippant comment about the power of pestering, and how thankful you’ll all be to not see my video lurk all over your timeline ever again*, but… I’m feeling. How do I describe it… it tastes like vodka and mucky laughs. Smells like glitter. Feels like…

I'd do anything for a pack of mince.

Friday, 4 August 2017

Img 1951

Boom - it be Friday...

...Unless you’re not in the office today and haven’t opened your email until Monday in which case that first statement is both a lie and let-down. (A familiar feeling for a certain 1st lady I suppose.)

Let’s plough on, because we all have cocktails and bunking off to get to, this Friday. The last few weeks have been a bit gougy, I hit a wall hard, with the dick number…

We Jammed...

Thursday, 20 July 2017



What an amazing night, filled with interesting, brave,  fantastic people. 

The first ever Leeds Book Jam was a roaring success.



Once I’d read my very hurried and slightly breathless reading my enjoyment levels went through the roof and a large glass of wine went down the hatch. 

We had an amazing MC in the wonderful (good at accents) Claire Patel-Campbell…

Love You Long Time...

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Franklin in bath

So my master plan for book domination continues…

Five words;

                         Love You Long Time Packs  

 If you know the right person (me) then this weekend you might have received a cute little something in the post. For some of my amazing pledgers (basically the people I bore the most with my dreaming of authorship). I’ve sent …a …well… it’s a straight up bribe.

Cute lovely…

No One Escapes

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

So, you lucky gorgeous pledgers you, today I have a short story for you.  Set in my Kingston World, (but a prequel so not in Kingston yet) with my vicious little Onion at the helm. Written just for you and although it will feature on my blog, only my Mum and spammers ever find their way into that dusty corner of dead dreams and back breaking pointlessness. So wrap up warm in the cardigan of exclusivity…

Abusing glue…

Friday, 19 May 2017

Kingston altered

Hello you gorgeous little nuggets of fun,

Wanna see something cool?

So I’ve been an industrious little Yorkshire lass, toiling away in my bunker, prep prep prepping for the big one. Searching how to survive, hunting for truths, raging against losing my mind, (and by bunker I mean my office with adorable  unicorn tape dispenser, and by big one I mean 50% funded and by  raging against losing my…

The Goat.

Thursday, 27 April 2017

After spending so long writing and rewriting; edit after edit of the darn thing, here I am in the belly of an unknown and strange beast called, ‘So Close’. It’s surreal like waking up half drunk, half naked in a port-a-loo at Glasto; you ‘ish remember how you got there, but you’ve no idea where the goat came from.

But here we are, no going back. The final draft is almost done, by which I mean;…

In editorial development
Publication date: TBC
107% funded
109 backers