Monday, 4 June 2018

42 (forty-two) is a number fraught with significance. It was famously Douglas Adams’ Answer to the Question of Life, The Universe and Everything. Multiply it by ten and you get the time stoners commence their chiefing of the kind bud. It was also the age at which Prince Albert died, presumably from the shock of discovering they’d named a cock ring after him. Most pertinently to us, 42 is the percent…

'With Nature's own hand painted...'

Monday, 21 May 2018


Dear legends,


Each of you has my eternal gratitude for pledging towards #Sonnets, but did you know you're not just supporting daft poetry? No, your kindness is also funding a tonne of gorgeous, Elizabethan-style illustrations from the disgustingly talented Ollie Mann. I imagine you've already seen his Kim Kardashian, so here's Ollie's take on my Snoop Dogg sonnet:



Pretty great…


Friday, 11 May 2018

Today’s a day both wonderful and stirring

For now the pledges that I hath incurred

Doth stand at thirty-three point three recurring

Which sweet percentage we may call a third

But, though I fear this seems fanatical,

I cannot rest or let my effort slow

For, using powers mathematical,

I glean that we have two thirds yet to go

Therefore I doth implore thee, pledger kind,

Fair patron, who would…

A Sonnet Upon Reaching 25%

Monday, 23 April 2018

Dear lords and ladies, who doth pledge thy name

That I, poor fool, might make these humble verses,

Lend me your ears, for now I would proclaim

The wondrous news my fervent brain rehearses!

’Tis bliss immeasurable to be alive

Upon this golden, many-splendored day:

Thy pledges to percentage twenty-five

Are climbed, which I with joyous eye survey!

’Tis true, three quarters more…


Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Well, I’m delighted to report that #Sonnets is 20% funded! As the proud bearer of a B in GCSE Mathematics, I can tell you that this means we’re a fifth of our way to publication. A FIFTH! Just like Beethoven’s greatest symphony, the day in November we’re meant to remember, and the amount of vodka Eminem drank before he asked if you dared him to drive! Hmm, ‘fifth’ is a weird word when you keep looking…

Still funding
42% funded
197 backers