Still funding
98% funded
320 backers

A Shakespearean take on such topics as Kim Kardashian, Tinder and Pikachu.

"O Heisenberg, did not that shaven head

Contain the thought thy wicked deeds could scar thee?

Thou should’st have taught thy chemistry instead

Of cooking crystal in some antique RV..."

From #Sonnet No. 14 - Walter White.

 

For hundreds of years, the sonnet has captivated poets, including its most famous practitioner, William Shakespeare. Alas, Shakespeare never used his command of iambic pentameter to explore such vital subjects as Snapchat, porn or Austin Powers. Enter comedian and too-much-time-on-his-hands-haver Lucien Young. While Shakespeare only wrote 154 sonnets, Lucien has written 155, making him one better. While Shakespeare kept his feelings on Spider-Man secret, Lucien has no such qualms. And while the immortal bard is unlikely to write you a personalised verse in exchange for £100, Lucien will very much do that…

 

 

#Sonnets is a collection of finely-wrought poems on hilariously inappropriate themes. Concerning celebrities like Donald Trump, Kanye West and Marge Simpson, as well as such modern ephemera as texting, wifi and viagra, each verse packs a multitude of gags into its fourteen lines. As with his previous literary pastiches, Alice in Brexitland and Trump’s Christmas Carol, the author has strived to make this book not only funny, but also an accomplished parody of the original. In addition, #Sonnets features gorgeous contributions from the illustrator Ollie Mann, making it an ideal gift. Whether you're a comedy fan, a lover of poetry, or just someone who wants to read an ode to RoboCop, this is the book for you.

About the Book

  • 176 page hardback with cloth-effect cover. 
  • Small, portable format, 111 x 178mm.
  • Black and white illustrations throughout by Ollie Mann
  • 155 original sonnets of outstanding skill and humour. Shakespeare would be totally owned in a sonnet-rap battle with this guy.

 

A Note from the Author

I know what thou art thinking: why did I

These sonnets write in twenty-seventeen?

Do I imagine there are people keen

To give my poor pentameter a try?

And, furthermore, who do I hope will buy

A book that doth the noble form demean

With subject matter frivolous, obscene

And quite impossible to dignify?

In truth, I needed it to occupy

My febrile brain, for what a year it’s been

I thought I could, with verse iambic, pry

Some sense from nonsense, and our modern scene

Depict and mock, while using ‘thee’ and ‘thy’

In pages fit to rest by thy latrine.

 

 

Lucien Young (@LucienDYoung) is a comedy writer who has worked on various TV programmes, including BBC Three's Siblings and Murder in Successville, as well as authoring two humour books, Alice in Brexitland and Trump’s Christmas Carol. He was born in Newcastle in 1988 and read English at the University of Cambridge, where he was a member of the world-famous Footlights Club. He hopes that writing this bio in the third person will make him sound legit.

A Selection of #Sonnets

 

 

Kim Kardashian

When I beheld upon my laptop screen

The best and brightest of our earthly stars

As cover girl of Paper magazine

With gloves and pearls and glist’ning, global arse

Then did my heart with foreign feelings flare

For little had I known erotic passion

Ere I had glimpsed thy shining derriere

And learned thy gilded name, O Kim Kardashian!

But soon my soul did grieve, for I did think

Of how thy form enpixelled might remain

That, IRL, my lips might never drink

A glass of thy butt-balancèd champagne

I need thee, Kim, so prithee do not let

My heart be broken like the internet!

 

Netflix

How I do thrill at thy great panoply!

Thine endless content doth my heart content

Ne'er do I grudge thy small subscription fee

Much less the countless hours on thee spent

For when I would my thirsting laptop slake

Assemblest thou the songs of sundry bards

One eve I shall of Stranger Things partake

The next of Narcos, Love or House of Cards

Alas, at times thy wares are so arousing

I cannot choose, and, vainly scrolling on,

I waste my day a thousand programmes browsing

And lose the chance to watch a single one

Man's heart, though lacking naught, still wanteth more 

And thus a wealth of choice doth make us poor.

 

Read more...

NINETY PERCENT!

Thursday, 1 November 2018

Image1

Dear fair youths and dark ladies,

Your boy’s cock-a-hoop to report that #Sonnets is now 90% funded, with a total of 300 backers! I feel like a modern Leonidas, without the impressive physique, slow motion fight scenes or weird xenophobia. To celebrate, I’ve naturally whipped up a little something for my noble patrons…

So yes, just ten percent remains — one for each syllable in a line of…

A MESSAGE TO MY PATRONS

Thursday, 4 October 2018

Queenkim

Dear fairest creatures,

I hope each and every one of you is enjoying a glut of gaiety, an excess of ecstasy and a surfeit of the superb. As for me, I’m a’ight. Pleased and grateful that #Sonnets is now 85% funded. Eager and impatient to smash through that remaining fifteen and get the thing into bookshops both reputable and not.

Thanks again for your generosity in funding this cavalcade of silliness…

EIGHTY AND FEELIN’ GREAT-Y

Monday, 17 September 2018

Img 5330

My dearest darlings,



I’m pleased to a punch-like extent to report that #Sonnets has crossed the 80% mark. I also got engaged this weekend, so it’s been a heady few days. Anyway, the printing presses lie ready and the sonnet-reading public slavers with anticipation, so I must continue my quest to get this deeply daft opus into your hands. To tide you over till then, here’s a sonnet I wrote for the…

SEVENTY-FIVE!

Thursday, 30 August 2018

Uponson

Beloved Patrons,

I'm pleased to inform you that everyone's favourite compendium of daft sonnets is now THREE-QUARTERS FUNDED! Mad gratitude and fulsome thanks to every one of you for getting us to this point. I'm nothing if not predictable, so I've written a sonnet to mark the occasion:

Fingers crossed it won't be too long before the thing hits its target. If you'd be kind enough to share…

When I'm Sixty-Four

Thursday, 2 August 2018

Screen shot 2018 08 02 at 10.29.36

Dear all,

I'm jubilant to report that #Sonnets is currently 64% funded! 64 is, as we all know, a superperfect number, i.e. a positive integer n that satisfies

where σ is the divisor summatory function. Anyway, this struck me as an ideal time to share with you a new piece of art by Ollie Mann:

Pretty cool, right? It's also representative of the kind of dope-ass illustration your pledges…

HALFWAY THERE

Friday, 20 July 2018

Img 4959

We've hit 50%! Callooh and, to a lesser extent, callay! In celebration, here's an exclusive sonnet about my recent experiences...

All jokes aside, I hugely appreciate the support of each and every one of you. It's thrilling to think that this profoundly daft book is now closer than not to being funded. I can't wait to get it out there, so please share, retweet, message a friend or hold a billionaire…

'TIS COMING HOME

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Img 4923

Dear all,

I thought I'd share with you a sonnet I live-wrote during yesterday's World Cup match, mainly as a means of coping with extreme stress:

Campaign-wise, we're up to 47%, so not all that far from reaching our goal (GET IT?). To hasten the process, it would be lovely if you could whack the share button on social media. Hope everyone's having a splendid summer, football fan and football…

TO MY HEROIC SUPPORTERS

Monday, 4 June 2018

42 (forty-two) is a number fraught with significance. It was famously Douglas Adams’ Answer to the Question of Life, The Universe and Everything. Multiply it by ten and you get the time stoners commence their chiefing of the kind bud. It was also the age at which Prince Albert died, presumably from the shock of discovering they’d named a cock ring after him. Most pertinently to us, 42 is the percent…

'With Nature's own hand painted...'

Monday, 21 May 2018

Snoop

Dear legends,

 

Each of you has my eternal gratitude for pledging towards #Sonnets, but did you know you're not just supporting daft poetry? No, your kindness is also funding a tonne of gorgeous, Elizabethan-style illustrations from the disgustingly talented Ollie Mann. I imagine you've already seen his Kim Kardashian, so here's Ollie's take on my Snoop Dogg sonnet:

 

 

Pretty great…

A THIRD!

Friday, 11 May 2018

Today’s a day both wonderful and stirring

For now the pledges that I hath incurred

Doth stand at thirty-three point three recurring

Which sweet percentage we may call a third

But, though I fear this seems fanatical,

I cannot rest or let my effort slow

For, using powers mathematical,

I glean that we have two thirds yet to go

Therefore I doth implore thee, pledger kind,

Fair patron, who would…

A Sonnet Upon Reaching 25%

Monday, 23 April 2018

Dear lords and ladies, who doth pledge thy name

That I, poor fool, might make these humble verses,

Lend me your ears, for now I would proclaim

The wondrous news my fervent brain rehearses!

’Tis bliss immeasurable to be alive

Upon this golden, many-splendored day:

Thy pledges to percentage twenty-five

Are climbed, which I with joyous eye survey!

’Tis true, three quarters more…

THE BIG TWO-OH

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Well, I’m delighted to report that #Sonnets is 20% funded! As the proud bearer of a B in GCSE Mathematics, I can tell you that this means we’re a fifth of our way to publication. A FIFTH! Just like Beethoven’s greatest symphony, the day in November we’re meant to remember, and the amount of vodka Eminem drank before he asked if you dared him to drive! Hmm, ‘fifth’ is a weird word when you keep looking…

These people are helping to fund #Sonnets.

Avatar
Joshua Arnett
Avatar
James Anthony
Avatar
Jo Clark
Avatar
Stephanie Rouse
Avatar
Susan Wear
Avatar
Sam Davey
Avatar
Felicity LANE
Avatar
Rick Steele
Avatar
DG Avara
Avatar
Emily, Jon and Axl Owen
Avatar
Emma Bell
Avatar
Neil Taylor
Avatar
Melinda Underwood
Avatar
Tom Moody-Stuart
Avatar
Liam Riley
Avatar
Niall Colfer
Avatar
Steven Thomas
Avatar
Ella Berthoud
Avatar
Mary Devereux
Avatar
Zac Newman
Avatar
Lynda Fothergill
Avatar
Johndy Lewis
Avatar
Robert Cox
Avatar
Ruben Quesada
Avatar
Julie Warren
Avatar
Charlotte Wylie
Avatar
Felicity McKay
Avatar
Mairin O'Hagan
Avatar
Miranda Thewlis
Avatar
Hannah Jenkins
Avatar
Alan Dowsing
Avatar
Robyn Hoedemaker
Avatar
Heidi Aho
Avatar
Chris Heppell
Avatar
Thomas McCluskey
Avatar
David Matkins
Avatar
Mareta Doyle
Avatar
John Adams
Avatar
Derran Venus
Avatar
Kate Williams
Avatar
Fred Friedman
Avatar
Johan Munir
Avatar
Vivian Darkbloom
Avatar
Jenna Corderoy
Avatar
Stephen Fry
Avatar
Patricia Gibbons
Avatar
Ian Samson
Avatar
Matthew Fraser
Avatar
Steve Warmington
Avatar
Bryan Mitchell
Avatar
Kimberly Hart
Avatar
Reginald Clovis
Avatar
Ken Cheng
Avatar
Emma Smith
Avatar
Elizabeth Francis
Avatar
Chuck Caruso
Avatar
Meg Gordon Sussman
Avatar
Emily Baines
Avatar
Thom Phipps
Avatar
James Cary
View all supporters

Join in the conversation

Sign in to ask a question