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A debut poetry collection that asks the age old question: if you throw a pineapple in a pool - would it sink or float?

Pineapples in the Pool is a collection of poems about falling in love and loss and heartbreak and growing older and having no idea what life is about but having a go anyway. Then they’re also about how handsome Dev Patel is and how great it is to eat crisps in your underwear and old lady vaginas. So a mixed bag really.

These are easy to read page poems, you don’t need to be a performer or read them out loud to enjoy them, because I think reading poems out loud in your bedroom is a bit embarrassing, they’re just straightforward poems that evoke emotion in a (sometimes) irreverent way.

I do spend a lot of time thinking about Dev Patel. And also pandas - they just constantly fall over with their silly fluffy butts.

Melissa Davies is a writer and poet originally from London. She began writing poetry at school and had her first poem published in an anthology when she was 14 years old. The anthology was a Christian publication which was supposed to show people’s relationship with God but Melissa’s poem was about a boy she fancied at school (and she isn’t even slightly religious. Being a teenager is a confusing time).

Since then, luckily, she has become much better at submitting things that are relevant and her work has appeared in publications across the UK, Australia and US.

She currently lives in Perth, Western Australia in a cottage with a couple of housemates and a cat who likes to lick curtains. She can be found most often in the pub, listening to other people’s conversations.

Follow Melissa on her Twitter @msmeldee

My Geriatric Vagina

I'm thirty four and a third
and I am told,
that if I want to have a child
I have to do so soon because
after thirty five
pregnancy is not a normal pregnancy
but a geriatric pregnancy
I expect that in eight months
my vagina will shrivel
and become an old lady
separated from the rest of my body
by a slice of grey
it will start to knit
and bake scones
it will call younger people
and offer unsolicited life advice
and start shouting at cheese 

my vagina will need its own
distress button
in case it has a fall
because it's been moved into a
care facility and forgotten about
because who cares about old people
let alone a geriatric vagina 


rotting comfort

we lie together
him and me
in a bed made of
rotting comfort 

the pillows
are bundles of
twigs and leaves
that drag my hair 

the quilt is
piles of moss
knitted together
with desperate pleasure 

with desperate pleasure
knitted together
piles of moss
the quilt 

drags my hair
twigs and leaves
are bundles of

in rotting comfort
our bed is made
we lie together
him and me 


What a week - Pineapples in the Pool is 26% funded!

Monday, 15 May 2017

Bloody hell it's been a bit of a whirlwind this.

Really it's just about wanting to say an absolutely enormous THANK YOU! to everyone that has pledged so far, I'm almost over the stage where I burst into simultanious tears and laughter every time I check my page. So thank you thank you THANK YOU, you completely wonderful people. 

(I promise my next update will have more substance and less gushing…

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