No One Talks About This Stuff

By Kat Brown

15 writers on their experience of infertility, childlessness, baby loss and almost motherhood

Friday, 11 March 2022

78 ways to say thank you

My friend Clementine Fletcher regularly airs a meme around this time of year, reminding us that this is in fact Spring of Deception, and the temperature will drop again before we splash into mud season and only *then* into actual spring. (The meme has been adapted for every American state and most of Gloucestershire, and really, it applies everywhere.) This week, I went to a book launch, celebrated two more books coming out, and thought, "Oh this is really quite lovely actually!" It reminded me of the massive amount of work involved in publishing a book, let alone writing it in the first place, which you will know quite well, being a part of this one!

I wanted particularly to write to you because of the extraordinary headway that you have made towards the progress of the book this week. On Tuesday morning, we were at 55% funded (!). Today, we are at 78% funded. I honestly don't know what to do with myself, I am so delighted. Thank you so, so much.

Anonymous benefactor news (very Frances Hodgson Burnett!)

We had an pledge this week that took us shooting past 70%: a supporter pledged £4,000. I was moving a load of cat stuff upstairs when it came through, and I nearly dropped an automatic pet feeder on my toe. They didn't want anything in return (they will of course be getting my unending gratitude and approximately 150 books for tax reasons), they just wanted to help get the book made. 

This really made me stop, for about the first time since I got Christmas Covid. Even though I *know* that the reason you have become a supporter of this book is because you understand infertility - either personally, or through a friend, family, or a colleague, or me - this incredibly kind pledge underlined the meaning behind every one of the 508 pledges that have got us here. This is a book you want to see made. It isn't just me, or my lovely Unbound editor (and author!) Fiona, or the wonderful writers. That is so splendid to remember. It's keeping me warm just thinking about it, which is also quite handy as I turned the heating off this week.

(I have purposefully not been looking at the list of names on the supporters dashboard because I worry this would drive me slightly mad, but please know I will say a huge thank you to you personally when we publish.) 

Getting to the finish line

We have just under £5,000 until the book is fully funded and I can stop posting percentages on the book's new Instagram page (where I also share news stories, infertility and parenting developments, and updates about our writers).

There are two ways in which I would be so grateful if you could help us to get there faster:

  1. We see a huge uptick in pledges when people share a link to the book with something about what it means to them, or why they are supporting it (this does not mean talking about any personal experiences by the way). If you could share a link to the book on your social media channels, with a little note, I would be wildly grateful. People are curious in what their friends are interested in.
  2. I have been chatting to lovely people at businesses who might be interested in a partnership - if you know of one who would like to swoop in and help us get to target, please email me on, and I will make you a cake in return (a three-tier chocolate and raspberry cake is my speciality, but I am open to requests).

The book on podcasts! 

 I was at a party last night (v 2019!) and a lovely woman I'd just met wrinkled her forehead. "I'm sure we haven't met before," she said, "but I really recognise your voice." I now like to imagine my voice gaily floating into people's kitchens going "Helllooooo!" and frightening them half to death.

I have recorded some guest appearances on wonderful podcasts to promote the book (and talk about lots of other things), and those will start coming out over the next few weeks. 

  • Is It My ADHD? with Grace Timothy
  • Daisy is Careering with Daisy Buchanan
  • The 1 in 5 Podcast with Geeta Pendse (this one is specifically interviews with women who don't have children)
  • My Life in Food with Laura Price (coming soon!)
  • Totally Fine with Tiffany Philippou (coming soon!)

These women are amazing journalists and interviewers, many of whom are running these podcasts to promote the launches of their own brilliant new books, so keep an eye out for these over the weeks ahead.

Writer events

If you're in or around Oxford tonight, Friday 11 March at 7pm, two No One Talks About This Stuff contributors, Miranda Ward and Dr Pragya Agarwal will be in conversation with the brilliant Nell Frizzell at Daunt Summerstown. The topic is What Makes a Mother? and tickets are £5 which you can buy here

Phew,  that was a long old missive, but I hope you will agree it is all VERY exciting! 

I wish you the happiest and jolliest of weekends, and if you actually aren't feeling too jolly at all, then I hugely recommmend back episodes of The Dog House via Channel 4's All 4 service, and Paul O'Grady's For The Love of Dogs on ITV. Pure comfort food for the eyes.

Kat x

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