Hello friends and supporters! Eris here with a lighthearted update. As Halloween (the best holiday, as any true millennial will tell you) looms on the horizon like next month's council tax bill, we thought we'd give you a cheeky, on-theme update. May these tiny relatable horror stories send a chill down your spine...
They have invented a new degree, higher than a PhD, this is required for an entry level job in a field unrelated to what you studied.
The only people who don't believe in climate change nowadays will be dead before it turns the planet into a fiery hellscape.
Your favourite chippy turns into a hipster coffee shop. The only decent Chinese place in town has turned into a hipster coffee shop. Your favourite hipster coffee shop is now a different hipster coffee shop. Your house is now a hipster coffee shop.
You finally save up enough to buy a house and it turns out to be haunted. It's the ghost of a baby boomer and it calls up a priest to get you out of the house.
You spend some time texting with a friend right before meeting up, only to find out they lost their phone that morning... Who were you texting?!
The future is scary, but at least we have each other... Stay spooky my friends!
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