In 2006 I had stood with my team mates at the end of the World Cup final watching New Zealand take the title after a game that we could have won. In 2010 I had to watch my opposing captain from New Zealand take to the podium and lift the cup after we lost by three points. But in 2014 I watched England win a World Cup final, three years after I retired. I’m proud of those women, but I still feel bitterness, jealousy, and immense hurt.
Had England not won without me in 2014, my own 2006 and 2010 World Cup Final wounds would be two scars I would feel proud of. Instead, they make me ashamed. Now that England Women have won the World Cup after my time I feel that my battle scars are worth nothing. Because what do you really win for coming second? How do I get over this? How do I find purpose and a direction in my life that makes my battle scars worth the pain? Do I cover them up? Do I take a new path? Or do I use that pain as fuel to power me on?
Thank you so much to all of you who have supported my book "Mud, Maul, Mascara". I am nearly at 50% funded and would love to get to 100% before Christmas. I would not need to ask Santa for anything else!!
In rugby news the Red Roses have started extremely strongly against Canada in the first of three tests with their second test tomorrow. They won 79-5; great for England. Canada have sent over…
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