Long Christmas Title Created using Figma

Find the perfect gift at our Christmas shop now
UK orders before 15th December, overseas before 4th December

Right Trees Created using Figma
Cover of Lily Poole

The Bam Projectory

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

I was out at the pub watching a Champions League match. (I won’t be saying that for a while.) Punters were crowding round the bar and the barmaid was looking through me as if I was made of glass. I bumped into Tam-who-will-remain nameless.

    ‘You’ll never believe it,’ he said. ‘Somebody’s put a video of somebody that looks like you up selling something?’

    ‘What is it?’ I said.

    ‘Dunno,’ he said. ‘But it’s really funny.’

    Neither of us laughed.

    ‘You should see it,’ he said. ‘You on Facebook?’

    I tried to catch the barmaid’s eye, or her arm and I might have shouted Margaret or Mary at her.

    ‘You should really go on Facebook,’ Tam-who-will-remain nameless said.

    ‘You on it?’ I asked.

    ‘Aye,’ he said. ‘Everybody’s on it.’

    ‘I’ll no’ bother then.’

    We both laughed.

‘Hi,’ I shouted at the barmaid.

She didn’t shout anything back. Just served the guy next to me. That’s when I went in a huff and stormed out of the pub and into Macintoshes round the corner. They weren’t showing the game, so I had to slink back into the same pub as Tam-who-will-remain nameless.

If Tam-who-will-remain nameless had any mates he’d be telling them the guy that’s just come in is a weirdo. He thinks he’s wrote a book. And even if he has wrote a book, it’ll be shite, cause he’s a weirdo.

I’ll let you and Tam-who-will-remain nameless decide.


Get updates via email

Join 184 other awesome people who subscribe to new posts on this blog.

Join in the conversation

Sign in to comment
Publication date: July 2016
106% funded
201 backers