Kitten on a Fatberg

By Dan Brotzel, Martin Jenkins, Alex Woolf

A farcical novel-in-emails about an eccentric writers group. They've all got a book in them, unfortunately.

Monday, 3 June 2019

Congratulations! (what's my percentage?)

So now we’re on 40%. Who’d have thunk it! As the Arhythmic Tics of Planet Pi (Vol VI, Chapter 13) might cry, ¡thätzâlmøstfiftēę!

I’m proud to have played my part in getting us to this almost not quite halfway stage in our journey, even though I don’t totally agree with the way I’ve been portrayed in this book. Admittedly, those are my emails, but something is amiss evidently because they don’t always seem to portray me as the charmingly modest person that I am (ask any of my fans).

Still, like them or not, I cannot dispute theyze my words, and my words being my living, I believe the three authors now owe me at least one seventh of the 40 percent they have been pledged thus far. I say at least because if you look at it on a strictly wordcount basis, I have almost certainly contributed more to this book than the other six members of the group, which means that I am owed... I haven't yet worked out the exact figure. Still, the authors can rest assured that I or my accountant shall be counting up the words and shall in due course be presenting them with a bill.

Keith

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