Tuesday, 31 May 2022
300, but without the leather straps
Hi everyone (I wanted to do a cute waving emoji here but there isn't one available on this system so just imagine it)!
I am very excited to see that I have hit the 300 buyers mark because it means I can reference that Gerard Butler film where all the grubby testosterone-fuelled men run around shouting in their loin cloths and little bits of leather. Annoyingly, now that I'm sitting here to write it I can't even think of a flimsy excuse as to why it should get a mention.
Oh hang on... grubby testosterone-fuelled men running around and shouting in loin cloths and litle bits of leather. Yep. That's it. No excuse needed.
Excuse me everyone, I've got a film to rewatch...
(Imagine that I've been able to include an amusing aubergine emoji here)
Signed, first-edition paperback
Just imagine - the book funds, I get a move on and finish writing it, your copy arrives in the post, you open the front cover and… gasp… I’ve scrawled with a black marker pen on the inside! What could possibly be better than that? Actually there are a lot of things much better than that but for heaven’s sake work with me here. Anyway, for this pledge you’ll get a signed, first-edition paperback copy of the book, the ebook and your name in the back of the book among the list of patrons.
"Keanu Reeves Doesn't Love Me" mug and signed book
The first thing I do in the morning is have a coffee from my Mentally Dating Greg Davies mug (yes I do own that). The only thing I can think of that would be better than that is drinking my coffee from a mug that reminds me that one of the sexiest and apparently loveliest men in Hollywood doesn’t love me. Oh no, wait. That’s a horrible thought. Oh well, buy one anyway. Those of you with ladies in your life could always buy one for her to remind her that she may as well stay with you as she’s never going to get Keanu.
You’ll receive the mug plus a signed, first-edition paperback copy of the book, the ebook, and your name in the back among the list of patrons.