Hot Singles in Your Area

By Jordan Shiveley

A comedic horror novel

Fiction | Valentine's Day
131% funded
562 supporters
Writing in progress

Publication date: TBC

Support this project
The crowd has spoken – Hot Singles in Your Area is happening. Pre-order your reward now.
$20 
50 pledges

A Rising Static Hum

Copy of the eBook and your name in the back of the book.
Choose this reward
$30  + shipping
149 pledges

Something solid just beneath your skin…

First edition hardback and your name in the back of the book.
Choose this reward
$55  + shipping
56 pledges

A mark for the huntress mother to see

An enamel badge plus signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book.
Choose this reward
$60  + shipping
23 pledges

Cold Flame Industries Membership Card

Signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book PLUS membership card
Choose this reward
$70  + shipping
23 pledges

Cold Flame Industries membership card and Hot Singles enamel badge

Signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book PLUS membership card and enamel badge
Choose this reward
$80  + shipping
3 pledges

Bring your family to the cult day!

Two signed hardbacks, two names PRINTED in the back of the book
Choose this reward
$105  + shipping
9 pledges

Proclaim Your Void

A giclee A3 print poster of a Hot Singles ad sheet plus a signed hardback and your name in the back
Choose this reward
$135  + shipping
4 pledges

T-Shirt, Poster and Book

The T-Shirt, the Poster plus a signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book.
Choose this reward
$180  + shipping
15 pledges

Filled you are, dark of heart and many of teeth

T-shirt, Poster, Enamel Badge, Membership Card, Mug plus signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book.
Choose this reward

Frequently Asked Questions

Where can I get my book delivered to?

We deliver to most countries worldwide. Enter your delivery address during checkout and we'll display the shipping cost when we know where to send your book.

How do supporter names work?

Every person who pledges to help to make a book gets their name included in a supporter section as a thank you as long as they pledge before the list closing deadline. If you want to add a different name, this can be changed in your account after you have completed your pledge.

Will the book and rewards that I receive look the same as the images shown on the Unbound website?

Book designs, cover and other images are for illustrative purposes and may differ from final design.

Still have a question? Visit our Help Centre to find out more.

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA
 

Noah Bezdan doesn’t know whether he has been writing these single ads or they have been writing him. A job is just a job, right? At least… until it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Or was that a doom fulfilling prophecy? Either way, Noah hasn’t been sleeping very much as of late and that doesn’t even begin to explain all the blood…

 

Hot Singles In Your Area is the culmination of seven years of Jordan Shiveley writing the eponymous HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ads on the twitter account (@hottestsingles) now he has collected them together for this volume. But this is not just a skeleton of old dried bones dredged from the social media abyss, dear Constant Reader. Shiveley is exhuming some fresh meat to stitch onto this frame and pumping in gallons of fresh, glistening… well, you’ll see.

 

Unsure whether HOT SINGLES is right for you? Don’t worry: these words will find their way into your deepest, darkest dreams soon enough. Of course, you could try and run…that would be…amusing…

 

Hot Singles in Your Area is a novel by Jordan Shiveley the writer behind the Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) twitter account.

 

Praise for Jordan. . . 

 

“Jordan Shiveley’s hot singles are lonely, and hungry, and they’re waiting for you. Are they down the street—or next door—or behind that strange new door in the basement? Or are they already inside you? Shiveley brings his dark biting wit and his air for cosmic horror from the digital realm to the printed page, and the results will leave you laughing, shuddering and looking over your shoulder. Discover a whole new reason to stay up all night: Check out Hot Singles in Your Area!” David Demchuk, award-winning author of The Bone Mother

 

“Devastating in its bottom-of-the-grave black humor, Hot Singles in Your Area reminds readers that life is precious, eeting and has already been prom- ised to the Void.” Jen Vaughn, Goosebumps: Download and Die!

 

“Of all the things that could escape a closet full of hungry teeth, Jordan’s writing is the sharpest and leaves the deepest marks.” John Wiswell, Tank

 

“The longer I kept reading, the louder and wetter the knocking outside the bedroom door became. If I stop reading I think they’ll come in. I can never stop reading. I don’t want to stop reading.” Marie Enger, Casket Land

 

“Jordan’s writing is the equivalent of nally piecing together the long dead his- tory of the forgotten civilization and discovering the antiquated knowledge that brings ruin to our world but in a good way!” Derek Revis

 

“It is rare that a work feels as comfortable as a warm towel straight out of the dryer and as disorienting as unseen nails dragged across the back of your neck” Steven Dunne, Seed of Doubt

 

“I cannot physically put this book down.” Joshua Mendenhall

Support this project

Quick select rewards

  • Jordan Shiveley avatar

    Jordan Shiveley

    Jordan Shiveley is the author of the Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) twitter account. Their work is also been seen in a variety of short fiction collections and tabletop roleplaying games as well as the Caring Into the Void podcast. They live and work in Minneapolis, Minnesota with a cat and partner both of whom often merge in ways unimaginable to the human mind.

  • Jordan Shiveley has written 1 private update. You can pledge to get access to them all.

    19th April 2021 THE FEAST IS SET BUT THE CELEBRANTS HAVE YET TO AWAKEN

    Progress is being made! The book is over 40k words and is barely approaching the halfway mark! I have been getting ever more fevered with the collage work I am making for the newspapers sections and the NECROMANCY CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH sections just keep growing like that crack in the wall in the back of your closet...you know the one...the whispering one? Here is a vintage mockup of some pages I was…

    5th December 2020 THE LONG PATH THE SCYTHE TAKES TOWARD THE FEASTING TABLE

    So an update!! First off, abject apologies, it has taken me this long to make one of these but I think we are all a bit crushed beneath the still ponderous weight of 2020.



    HOWEVER! The book is moving forward and it is TRANSFORMING into something more horrifically splendorous than it was at first planned. There are now 2 POVs (one in the MANSIONS OF SILENCE one in maybe our world but maybe not who…

  • These people are helping to fund Hot Singles in Your Area.

    User avatar

    Dawn Schuldenfrei

    User avatar

    Robert Armstrong

    User avatar

    Sonja van Amelsfort

    User avatar

    Gabriela Rodriguez

    User avatar

    Jennifer Harper

    User avatar

    Lyria Battey

    User avatar

    Natalie Westaby

    User avatar

    Gabrielle See

    User avatar

    Daniel Clancy

    User avatar

    Eric Krul

    User avatar

    Dave Filicoski

    User avatar

    Thomas Hayes

    User avatar

    Damon Dorsey

    User avatar

    albert aretz

    User avatar

    David Chess

    User avatar

    Meagan Keziah

    User avatar

    Nicholas Robertson

    User avatar

    Will Jenkins

    User avatar

    Katie Beavis

    User avatar

    plz help

    User avatar

    Bridh Blanchard

    User avatar

    Devon Woods

    View more