Honest and relatable menopausal musings that put the hysteria back in hysterically funny
This ‘self-help’ book is a bit different from the average menopausal book. There will be no images of slim, happy, healthy woman skipping their way through the menopause flicking their thick golden locks behind them. Nope – it is the antidote to the ‘joy of getting older’ brigade. It is more like chatting to a friend who totally gets it, as they too can’t stop eating chocolate and overusing the word ‘fuck’. It’s about what it’s really like to be a menopausal woman. Realising you are not alone is perhaps the best self-help there is. So the idea is that you can cry/ laugh till the tears run down your leg at the absurdity of this stage in life.
Galloping Catastrophe is for all menopausal women regardless of how they experience ‘the change’, and also for their significant others who want a candid down to earth (and very funny) view of what the experience is actually like. It's for anyone who has ever found themselves asking, 'Is it just me...?' It isn't intended to be read all the way through from start to finish. It is more of a dip in and dip out book.
Had a fucker of a day? Read about mine. Plucking bristles from your chin? Yep, me too! Can’t fit into your clothes? Wait until you hear my experiences. Need a bit of a lift? Read about the importance of the ‘Fuck It’ list or the joy of being with friends you have known for decades and who still seem to like you.
This book won't help you lose weight, or make your hair any glossier, or tossier, or holistically restore your hormonal equilibrium. But it will help you to feel just that wee bit better. And most importantly, realise that no, it definitely isn’t just you!
About the Book
- 288 pages
- 20 Original black and white illustrations
- B-Format Hardback with head and tail bands
- Fantastic pledge levels including mugs, calendars and limited-edition prints!
You too may have discovered that when you hit menopausal age you develop a superpower – invisibility!
I have definitely become the Invisible Woman (except to my Sweet Dog who adores me and ‘sees’ me all the time especially when I say ‘biscuit’). Which is ironic given that I am bigger than I have ever been in my life.
And this isn't just me being maudlin. A recent poll found that 46 was the average age that women start to feel invisible.
Take a recent trip into work. I am waiting to get on the tram and a man steps practically through me and stands one inch in front of me so he can get on first. He didn't see me at all as he rushed for the last available seat. He didn't quite knock me over as I am a bit like a weeble in that I wobble a lot - but I don't fall down. He didn't see me in fact til I 'accidentally' stood on his foot. At the next stop though he leapt off the seat as if there was firework about to go off up his arse so he could help a gorgeous 20 something woman off the tram with her bag. I nicked his seat quick smart. He saw me then!
At the lift at work two people just pushed straight past me, not even interrupting their conversation to acknowledge me. They didn't ask what floor I want to get out at and just hit Floor 9 for themselves. They noticed me though when I pressed all the buttons from Floor 1 to Floor 9 then departed on Floor one, whistling happily as I pictured them jolting up one floor at a time. I probably should not admit to this but I also let out a fart of the silent but deadly type (I had a tandoori the night before). Ha. (I was going to take the stairs every time I was only doing one floor but I am going to wait til I get a Fitbit so that I can officially record it each time).
I go to the shops for some chocolate and a guy comes in and shouts over my head for fags - '20 Silk Cut mate'. The shopkeeper also can't see me as he goes to serve him first. But they see me when I say 'EXCUSE ME I think you'll find I was here first' because invisible women aren't supposed to speak up for themselves - they are supposed to accept their lot. Well I beg to feckin differ! Not me. Not now. Not ever. I'd recommend it - speaking up for yourself becomes easier and easier the more you do it.
The snotty woman who told me haughtily not to take two of the (postage stamp-sized) towels when I made my yearly visit to the gym that I pay £50 a month to not use - I told her ‘I beg to feckin differ – I am taking them and and get the manager ready for me when I come out to discuss further if it is a problem’.
Chatting with journalist Ann Graham
Saturday, 23 March 2019
Had a lovely chat about the book with the lovely Ann Graham on Thursday. Had one glass of wine then another then another then some disarrano then tbh it went a bit hazy after that!
The promotion continues .. we are at 20% funded now ... so huge thanks to each and every person who has pledged to buy a book
This week the focus is going to be on trying to obtain corporate sponsorship and also on…
Hello from sweet dog
Thursday, 14 March 2019
sweet dog here ... I am doing a wee campaign to help my human get her book published .. what do you think? Thankyou to all of you coz I know you have already pledged and that made my tail wag lots .. I am off to work out how Twitter works now
Four days in ...
Wednesday, 13 March 2019
Hi to all you Galloping Catastrophes and significant others out there!
I was hoping to email you all individually to say thanks for the pledge but something complicated to do with data protection means I cannot do that . But the lovely unbound people have said you will all get this update
I am truly overwhelmed that in just four days 83 people have pledged to support the book by pre-ordering…
These people are helping to fund Galloping Catastrophe.