For the past few years Hilary has been talking to people about what scares them and helping them to work through their fears. This book brings together what he has found. Maybe it is about time that we looked at fear differently and asked why it is still, in the 21st Century, such a problem for us.
Hacking here involves looking at fear from another angle. Instead of taking repeated blows at the log from one side, we turn it around and look at it more carefully. It is by doing this that we find a new way in.
What Hilary does is to offer us a breakthrough. Rather than being afraid of our fears, Hilary has an insight to share with us about the underlying framework we use. Instead of fighting our fears what Hilary shows us a way of befriending them. By bringing them close, we can learn surprising things from our fears. Hilary shows us how.
This is no dry academic exercise, for the sake of honesty Hilary has also throws his own fears into the pot so that we can see what happens. This he combines this with his insights into power gleaned from his work previously as a negotiator and his work more recently as an adviser and coach to leaders. Here, we start to see how power and fear work together and that what we see as a power problem is often really a fear problem and vice versa.
Whilst the workshops that Hilary runs deal with fears we can mostly see, the book looks at the deeper fears that shape us. The problem is that our fears and the stories we create from them are not us. They can however end up limiting and stopping us. For anyone who is curious why they can’t change, why they aren’t doing what they could be doing or why something still scares them, this book is the answer.
Fear is a curious thing and there is a reason why the shower scene in Psycho is so scary. Fear Hack shows us why.
In the last part of the book we get a powerful model that re-frames how we see our fears and an opportunity to turn our anxieties into excitement.
Fear Hack is a way of turning our experience from a monster story into a love story.
Here we get to make fear our friend and to come out altogether happier.
Now as I sat on the train, heading though the flat misty fen land, I noticed that I was substantially more nervous than I would expect. I didn’t understand this, as I wasn’t facing hundreds of people or speaking without notes. For once, I had a structure to speak to. Fortunately, the early arrival and the slow train had an unexpected benefit as I had the time to ask myself why I was feeling so nervous. I’d noticed the sense of unease creeping up on me for the last few days and had filed it away for the future rather than choosing to meet it head on. As I sat there, with the train taking care of the journey, I relaxed and faced in on the feeling, asking myself “Why this and why now?”
Sitting at a table on the train, I got out my notebook and wrote at the top of the page “Why am I uncomfortable?” I then sat with that feeling and accepted it. As I accepted it, it ceased to be just a surface feeling and instead opened up and spoke to me. I could distinctly feel that parts of me that anchored themselves firmly in the world of safety and certainty were feeling under threat. Down the left-hand side of the page I captured these individual feelings.
Then, down what I still had of the right-hand side of the page I squeezed into the remaining margin the challenge and my ideas about the new possibility that I knew I was happy to grow into. Both parts of this all poured out in a matter of a few minutes. When I’d done it, I sat back and looked at it. In the short time that had passed my entire mood changed. All my nerves had gone and the weight that had been building up on me all week had suddenly lifted.
Welcome to the Goldmine that is Fear and thank you for being visonary enough and kind enough to back my new book. As of writing this we are 2/3 of the way to funding the book and nearly a month in.
One of the great things about doing things this way is that the project is continuing to develop. I didn't know when I made my video - by standing on a mark on the floor - that I was off centre,…
These people are helping to fund Fear Hack.