Ex

By Laurie Avadis

An everyday story of a 32-stone policeman determined to kill his son

Fiction
110% funded
229 supporters
Published

Publication date: August 2015

Buy
book cover
You made Ex a reality. It's available in all good book stores now.
$8 
110 pledges

Digital

E-book edition.
Choose this reward

Sold out!

$25  + shipping
83 pledges

Paperback

1st edition paperback and the ebook edition
$40 

Launch Party only

No book, just 2 tickets to the launch party (includes 2 drinks)
$45  + shipping
29 pledges

Collectable

signed 1st edition paperback and the ebook edition
$85  + shipping
18 pledges

Launch Party

Everything as above plus 2 tickets to the launch party (includes 2 drinks)
$115  + shipping
7 pledges

Print

Everything up to the launch party level, plus a signed first edition paperback, plus an A3 fine art digital print of the cover
$225  + shipping

Personal Training Session

A one-on-one fitness training session with the author in London.
$375  + shipping
1 pledge

Bespoke Song

Laurie and the Nightingale Experience will write a song for you or your partner, record it and send it to you on CD in a case with personalised original signed artwork
$750  + shipping

Serenade

Laurie's band, The Nightingale Experience, will come to play for you anywhere within the M25. You'll also get everything up to the print level.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where can I get my book delivered to?

We deliver to most countries worldwide. Enter your delivery address during checkout and we'll display the shipping cost when we know where to send your book.

How do supporter names work?

Every person who pledges to help to make a book gets their name included in a supporter section as a thank you. If you want to add a different name, this can be changed in your account after you have completed your pledge.

Still have a question? Visit our Help Centre to find out more.

Daniel’s father wants to kill him. It’s something of a family tradition.

Luckily, he’s a survivor. But with his thirty-two stone psychotic police sergeant father concocting ever more obscure methods of killing him, Daniel needs to find a way to save himself. Unfortunately for him, his mother isn’t of much help – she’s abandoned the family home to live out her life as a mermaid. School offers no respite, either – the school bully, Dorsal Grellman, is an eight year old that looks like an elephant on steroids, and he’s made torturing Daniel his daily project.

But after Daniel makes friends with Ferris, a brilliant but irritating genius who manages to befriend Dorsal, the three embark on a journey to discover the source of Daniel’s father’s rage, reunite his family and find a place for themselves in the world.

Ex is black comedy like you’ve never read it before. An imaginatively absurd, fantastically vivid account of one boy’s day-to-day struggle to avoid annihilation. It takes you on a voyage down the Thames on the world’s largest and most deadly wooden potato. Along the way you’ll meet an outrageous array of characters: from a flock of swearing ducks to a cappuccino-swigging lion, a grandmother with a predilection for murdering superheroes to the world’s least successful hostage negotiator.

Ex is one of the wildest, funniest, and most violent books you’ll ever read – it makes Kill Bill look like Toy Story. If you’re squeamish, stay far away, but if you’ve ever laughed at others' misfortune, or relished a moment of gratuitous, unnecessary violence, then this is the book for you.

For Every £20 You Pledge, £5 Goes to Charity:

Despite its violence and its humour, Ex is a book which carries at its heart a message of hope for children who face and overcome incredible adversity. That’s why the author has decided to match pledges with donations to Shooting Star Chase Children's Hospice.

Shooting Star Chase - Children's Hospice Care

Shooting Star Chase is a leading children’s hospice charity, caring for babies, children and young people with life-limiting conditions. Whether lives are measured in days, weeks, months or years, staff of the hospice are there to make every moment count, support families from diagnosis to end of life and throughout bereavement with a range of nursing, practical, emotional and medical care.

Their support is free of charge to families and available 365 days a year. But it costs £9.5 million a year just to maintain their current level of care and with only 10% of that income coming from government funding they rely on their supporters’ generosity to keep the service running.

Buy

Quick select rewards

$8 
110 pledges

Digital

E-book edition.
Choose this reward
$25  + shipping
83 pledges

Paperback

1st edition paperback and the ebook edition
  • Laurie Avadis avatar

    Laurie Avadis

    Laurie Avadis has been an artist, a photographer, an author and a musician – and he still routinely gigs with his band The Nightingale Experience. Writing, though, has been his definitive mode of expression for him from an early age. Laurie is also a family lawyer, and he’s had the unfortunate experience of working with children in situations as bad as, and even worse, than the character Daniel himself. That’s what started him writing this book. Laurie’s idiosyncratic black humour may not paint things as they really are, but it does make it a little easier – even fun – to look closer at the deeply important issue of justice for children.

  • Saturday had arrived, as Saturdays do, and Daniel woke to the sound of his father sharpening a meat cleaver over his bed and singing the aria “One Fine Day” from Puccini’s Madame Butterfly. Nothing out of the ordinary there, then.

    Read more...
  • Laurie Avadis has written 5 private updates. You can pledge to get access to them all.

    4th April 2016 An excerpt from 'And' the follow up novel to 'Ex'

    Before Drake became a zoo keeper in the gorilla enclosure of London Zoo he had spent quite a long period of time in prison. Drake was in prison for two reasons - firstly he had helped George Skin save the world (for the first time) and secondly they had been caught. 

     

    Tiberius Drake’s formative years were relatively uneventful. After making an exquisitely imperceptible impact on the world of…

    23rd October 2014 The final edit of Ex goes out for approval

    I cannot believe it but I sent the final edit of Ex to Luke last night having written an extra chapter. There is likely to be a little bit more editing to come I expect - we still have to send it off to the wonderful people in the good ship Unbound for their approval but Luke is talking about the cover designer reading it now so this is getting real. 

    Now, Slaughterhouse-Five came in at…

    19th October 2014 Here are the photographs of France

    19th October 2014 Photographs - giant cheque given to Shooting Star and France in October

    So, I finally met the wonderful Kate from Shooting Star. M y dear friend Lee Playle  - a brilliant graphic artist,  wrote out the giant cheque and we trooped down the road with Catherine my wife. The local press were there - they  can't resist a giant cheque.          

    We are getting close to the final edit. Luke has sent another version back to me and we are getting really close to…

    14th October 2014 Ex the movie part 2 - the story behind the short film

    Hi all,

    When I first decided to start working with Unbound I had in mind to try to provide an image of what M would look like to me and to do so in the form of a short film showing him in action. We know he is a 32 stone police officer and I was close to using a man who was over 30 stone who was also a sumo wrestler before I was introduced to Good King Hal who is an official Henry the VIII…

    14th October 2014 EX the movie part 2 - here it is

    The wonderful Oliver 'my son' Breckon has finished his work on our promo film and the link is below. 

    Thanks again to the big man himself - King Hal who plays Ex and to my nephew Sam and his wonderful lady partner Caroline. 

    My role in this film is on the cutting room floor which is bloody typical.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pAulqhJEDU&feature=youtu.be

     

     

    2nd October 2014 Rosalind

    On the day that Rosalind died

    my sisters and I

    stood in straight alignment 

    like 3 celestial bodies in syzygy 

     

    My brother-in-law

    Brian

    and I

    carried the void she left in our lives

    on our shoulders 

    to my airing cupboard 

    where we hid it

    in the snicket 

    between the bath towels

    and the torn curtains

    we do not have the heart

    to throw away

     

    I felt…

    30th September 2014 Last 20 pledges needed - prize draw

    Hi all - those generous people at Unbound will enter anyone who pledges now into a free prize draw to attend the launch party.  Please help me over this final hurdle.

    Laurie xxxx

     

    26th September 2014 Other trains

    Her voice was like 

    the Siberian air masses 

    which chill 

    the eastern slopes of the Urals 

     

    She worked the tables 

    in the kind of bar 

    which claims to be in Gdansk 

    but isn't in Gdansk.

    It had been fashioned from the 

    hollowed out 

    exoskeleton 

    of a giant beetle 

    with toilet facilities 

    in the tip of the carapace 

     

    I was on my way to Kyiv

    to give…

    25th September 2014 Ex the movie part 1

    Well, the promo film has been shot. Ollie who is a producer from Channel 4 did the filming,  Mike - the big man who is playing 'M' and my nephew and Caroline his lady-person all played their roles and there is a cameo from yours truely.

    22nd September 2014 Ex - the short film, the 32 stone policemen and very very big cheques

    The wonderful Ollie (not to be confused with the wonderful Marcia) (not that you could confuse Ollie, a Channel 4 TV producer who lives in London,  with my cousin Marcia an artist who lives in New York but since they both have 'wonderful' in their names I did not want to take a risk) and I have been planning to make a short promo film for Ex for some months now. There were a number of issues. Firstly…

    17th September 2014 Of rain and of shadow

    She wore red sequinned shoes

    and every now and again she

    espied them

    and part of her right eye

    grinned

    When she sat down beside me

    in the train carriage

    she was like an occupying army

    laying siege to the armrest

    erecting pontoon bridges

    across my leg space

    My fingers were forced to abandon my laptop to an uncertain fate

    and retreat

    until I gave the impression

    of a man in prayer

    14th September 2014 Her 64th boyfriend

    Congratulations Marcia Miller for making the pledge that got me down to 99 pledges required - you now have a character named after you in "Ex". All I am going to say is, I hope you don't like ant eaters. Marcia has become pledge obsessed and lets me know whenever we gain another percentage point. Quite simply, her support has kept me going whenever I have flagged. She is currently in Cape Cod with…

    13th September 2014 We are at 101 pledges needed. I will name a character in the book after the person who gets this down to 99 pledges

    I am still adding material to the book and am currently writing a new chapter. I will name a character in the book after the person who gets me down to 99 pledges -  I an either use their name or a name of their choice (their child, dog, llama - there are llamas everywhere you know - open your eyes - I saw one today in Hounslow town centre sitting on a park bench playing a viola) (although to be fair…

    10th September 2014 Fantastic news from Shooting Star Children's Hospice and my interview with ABCtales

    We have managed to raise over £600 for the hospice in five weeks! The money raised so far could pay for a sensory day for children with very complex needs. Both the family and the child can experience a range of themed sensory activities. Those of you who have pledged have paid for this and Shooting Star have asked me to thank you all for your incredbile generosity and kindness.

    For those of you…

    9th September 2014 Humbled by darkness

    I returned home on Christmas Eve

    to find the house

    which had been punctuated by a thousand

    astral semicolons

    when I left

    was humbled

    by darkness

    I reached for the light switch

    but there was only your hand

    and your embrace

    It was the gateway to a garden

    where every living thing

    has perished

    from insouciance

    “When we were first together”

    you told me

    your eyes as dangerous as feral…

    5th September 2014 Her eyes belonged to infinity

    "Don't fuck with me or I will hurt you."

    Her voice was grey green

    like the bruises

    the rain leaves on a forest floor

    She pressed the tip

    of her home made shank

    against

    my trachea

    just beside my oesophagus

    until butterfly kisses of blood

    tattooed my collar

    I could grasp

    only a snapshot of her face

    through the corner of my right eye

    it was cratered and indistinct

    as if it were a facet…

    2nd September 2014 A poem about my father and some favourite photographs taken in the USA and the UK

    The day before

    the day before

    you died

    I was the charismatic but ruthless leader

    of a hundred thousand

    mogul warriors

    as they battled

    a rag-tag mercenary army

    of astronauts, medieval knights and GI's

    for supremacy over our

    settee and coffee table

    You were not witness

    to this senseless internecine carnage

    because you were at the office

    where

    it latterly transpired

    you lived

    You…

    29th August 2014 Some images from Glasgow and Whistable - August 2014

    25th August 2014 A little bit of my stuff

    Hi all,

    I thought I would share a bit of my work  - I write music, take photographs and write poetry and I wanted to share some of this with you.

    I have attached a sound file of "World of Fantasy" a song written by myself and the very wonderful Mark Donegan, sung by Thea. 

    This is a photograph taken in Porto earlier this year which I was pleased with. 

    This is a poem written in 2011…

    16th August 2014 Atom by Atom

    She has the kind of

    immutable

    throat burstingly cruel

    beauty

    that makes men's eyes bleed

    and women strafe their faces

    with their

    claws

    You need a shot

    of pure hypoxic helium nitrate

    just to speak to her

    and when her eyes

    fall upon yours

    it is as if you are being

    disseminated

    atom by atom

    like the febrile

    mist

    rising from a

    battlefield

    She does not have a name

    it is not necessary…

    15th August 2014 25% a quarter of the way there

    Well we are getting there - day 9 and I can see what my life is going to be like - at court today I approached a solicitor and a Barrister and got them to pledge as I was standing over them. I only have to do that another 243 times!!!!!  

     

     

    14th August 2014 My cousin Marcia is just - I am sorry I am lost for words

    She has contacted no less than 37 friends and encouraged them to pledge. She has a heart the size of a mountain and she is really my unnoficial third sister. Marsha is in New York but when my mother passed away in April she was by our sides in under 24 hours. This process is really showing me how special some of the people I know are.

    14th August 2014 A week is a long time in this town

    Well week one has come and gone. The generosity and support from places and people I had never expected has been incredible. I will go in to my local Shooting Star Hospice shop to say hello this weekend and arrange to visit the Hospice itself. 

    My cousins have been amazing - Marsha from the USA, Louise and Louis - he has started a campaign on Facebook. This process really does encourage special…

  • These people are helping to fund Ex.

    User avatar

    Rhel ná DecVandé

    User avatar

    Natasha Auc

    User avatar

    Erik Campbell

    User avatar

    Iain Graham

    User avatar

    Isaac Stidham

    User avatar

    patrick barden

    User avatar

    Peter McEachern

    User avatar

    Mark Skinner

    User avatar

    kevin mccallum

    User avatar

    Lorraine Warren

    User avatar

    Lindsey Herbert

    User avatar

    Samantha Hall

    User avatar

    Jacob Donaghy

    User avatar

    Keren Anstey

    User avatar

    An anonymous donor

    User avatar

    Craig Williams

    User avatar

    Cait Harvey

    User avatar

    Candice Rochford

    User avatar

    Maxim Jakubowski

    User avatar

    Nick LaPointe

    User avatar

    Andrea Speed

    User avatar

    Sara Doran

    View more
  • V V
    V V asked:

    Greetings. I ontained the ebook and put it on my ioad however the ebook was deleted after on OS system upgrade and now i cannot find it anywhere on my ipad. Please can you send me a link so that I can please download the ebook again? Is there a way that the ebook will not disappear after ipad OS uogrades because I did not buy the book from ibooks? Yours sincerely, Vyvy

    Unbound
    Unbound replied:

    Hi Vyvy, Thanks for getting in touch. If you log in to your Unbound account you can download the ebook from https://unbound.co.uk/books/ex/ebooks. Best wishes, Unbound Support