A darkly funny set of linked tales about vengeful phones and hoovers
How do you feel about your phone? Or your car? I bet you don’t think about them much, except when they go wrong. But what if they go really wrong and turn properly bad… evil, even?
Join Terry Jones on a journey into the dark heart of machines. Over the next six months you will get to lounge in Terry’s shed as he writes about the lift that took people to places they didn’t want to go, the vacuum cleaner that was too powerful and the terrifying train to anywhere. Brisk and cheerful on the outside but as dark as Roald Dahl’s finest within, Terry Jones’ collection of thirteen cautionary fables will be finished for November 2011.
Fortunately, this is just before Christmas, so you may want to order the beautifully stitched, bound and illustrated Hardback edition (if we can find a non-evil printing press to play ball). Early-bird patrons can even get a personal dedication from Terry.
In the meantime, here’s the beginning of the very first story, 'The Truthful Phone'. If you would like to listen to Terry reading the second ('The Nice Bomb'), you’ll find it in his shed once you've made a pledge.
Fiction (suitable for all ages. Particularly good for Luddites or those who like a bit of an edge to their silliness)
You might think that there was nothing particularly evil about a Truthful Phone. It simply told the truth, which is, of course, “A Good Thing To Do”. But the way this particular telephone told the truth was not at all good. In reality the thing was evil from the tip of its mouthpiece to the end of its cord.
The Truthful Phone
Wednesday, 27 January 2016
Hello Terry Jones' Evil Machines Supporters!
NEWS! The first story in Evil Machines, The Truthful Phone is being adapted into a film!
Taking inspiration from both the Evil Machines story and Terry’s screenplay for Labyrinth, the adaptation is a rollicking comedy with Mae Morris at the core of this tale of mischief and mayhem as the phone not only tells versions of the truth - but becomes…
The Vacuum That Was Too Powerful
Monday, 11 July 2011
Here is another chapter from 'Evil Machines' - help me finish it by pledging your support and get your name in the back! Imagine that.THE VACUUM CLEANER THAT WAS TOO POWERFUL
There was once a very Powerful Vacuum Cleaner. On the side of its cylinder was inscribed the legend: “Possibly the most Powerful Vacuum Cleaner in the World!”
“That’s the vacuum cleaner for us!” said John.
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Lots of Python related news which I thought I'd better share with you.
Not that it's stopping me from writing - oh no.
Firstly we're making a 3D animated film based on Graham's memoirs
The BBC are making a drama about the slightly mixed reception The Life of Brian received when it was released. I'm played by someone young and handsome - I'm not…
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Pondering the new book I've been reminded of some other Evil Machines or rather Evil Machine makers I wrote about in the Guardian a couple of years ago. Here's the piece:
Dear arms industry,
Congratulations! At this time of economic crisis, when everyone is tightening their belts and reducing expenditure because of the monetary meltdown, you're the one industry that's still expanding. According…
Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Monday, 9 May 2011
Well how lovely to see you here.
Firstly, I should thank-you for having the devil-may-care audacity to buy a book that hasn't quite been written yet. With your help it will be. You can now relax and enjoy watching me write it. I, on the other hand, have some serious work to do. Not that it will be very serious you understand. In fact most of it will be very silly. Well that's what you get for buying…
These people are helping to fund Evil Machines.