Don't Be a Dick

By Anneli Roberts

A collection of short, sweary essays from a girl who wants you to be less of a dick

Thursday, 5 September 2019

Hello Friends!

My first update! - how exciting. 

Thank you so much to every single person who has pledged so far, there are 80 of you right now as I write this. 

I have been very lucky to have as much support as I have and I am very aware of just how privileged I am to be surrounded by such wonderful people.

I thought I'd share a little more about Don't be a Dick with some of you, just to whet your appetites - and I figured that the best way to do it would to be to share some more of the chapter titles with you (there are a couple in the project synopsis, but we want more don't we? YES!) and a brief summary of each of them. 

Don't mock people's taste in music. 

A worryingly dark and specific example of what might happen to you if you insist on criticising other people for their likes and dislikes. It features a surprisingly specific account of someone's time as a founder of a fan club dedicated to Jimmy Carr and also some moss. You'll like it. 

Cry more

A surprisingly persuasive essay on the art of crying and why we should all be doing it much, much more. Where did the stiff upper lip ever get us anyway? Piers Morgan, that's where. It's my ultimate goal that we all get together and read this chapter aloud in unison while sobbing - but I'll settle for you giving me a retweet. 

Don't buy scented toilet paper 

A passionate and insightful look at one of life's greatest mysteries. What exactly is it for? Anybody who has ever done a poo would know that the slightest hint of coconut oil isn't fooling anybody surely? Or maybe it's the thrill of the chance of developing thrush or a UTI that gets you all going - a modern day Russian Roulette, if you like. This essay was first performed as a piece of improvised spoken word to a taxi driver in Camarthenshire. He enjoyed it. 

Shut up and listen! 

A convincing piece that will help you see why listening is often far preferable to talking. No diagrams. Less aggressive than it sounds. 

Stop trying to have sex with vulnerable women

Wow. That took a leap didn't it. There really is something in this book for everyone. I explain consent for even the dimmest of dimwits and also arm you with some handy things to say to the idiots who don't accept the obvious importance of not taking advantage of people who are unable to. Spoiler: one of them is just burping loudly and walking away (not really, but go ahead). 

******

I'm really really excited to have you on board. This book has been written in various stages and, although a lot of the chapters are funny and lighthearted, some of it deals with some pretty big topics such as: racism, mental health and the importance of having difficult conversations. I wrote some of the book when I was in a pretty dark place and I think that some of its contents will help shed light on some of the lessons I wished I had never had to learn. 

Please keep sharing the link to the book and encouraging others to buy it. 10 points to whoever comes up with the best innuendo or marketing strategy. Thanks again. So much. I look forward to seeing your name in the back of every single copy. You are just the best. 

 

 

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