Death and the Elephant

By Raz Shaw

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A memoir about fighting cancer and gambling

Publication date: March 2018
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About the book

  • Gambling addiction is an insidious disease that is all consuming, eats away at your insides and occupies your mind and your soul at every waking and sometimes sleeping moment.
  • Cancer is an insidious disease that is all consuming, eats away at your insides and occupies your mind and your soul at every waking and sometimes sleeping moment.

It is Monday June 12th 1995. My 28th birthday. I am a lost, directionless gambling addict doing a job that is eating up every inch of any soul I had left. Tomorrow I will be diagnosed with Stage 4 sclerosing Mediastinal Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma of the large cell type.

After the diagnosis, I was far too busy trying to live each moment to the full, just in case living didn’t last that long, to imagine that out there in the future might be a 48-year-old theatre director with a story to tell.

I am Raz Shaw.

My life had been going nowhere. Until I was diagnosed with cancer.

And cancer saved my life. That is not hyperbole. It is, as far as I am concerned, a fact.

I was given the all clear from cancer in March 1996. I stopped gambling for good in April 1996. Those two truths are directly related though it took me a long time to learn quite how much and for that matter how.

After a year away recuperating. I turned my back on the highly paid telesales job that had devoured me and re-assimilated myself into the world of theatre. Re-acquainted myself with the things about that world that made me feel real, and heard and alive. And now I am ready to tell my story.

Death and the Elephant’ is a non-fiction glimpse at my experiences living through and beyond a life-threatening illness. And a gambling addiction. Then and now I had/have no ability to take life too seriously. Even in the seemingly most extreme of times.

If you can’t laugh, you can’t live. It’s the only way to make it through.

So this a book that charts my fight with cancer and gambling through a prism of perspective and irreverence. Cancer and gambling are heavyweights. They put up a helluva fight. But my chin is not made of glass and though I was knocked down many times I kept getting up to continue the battle. I am hoping this synopsis holds the only boxing metaphor in the entirety of the book. In fact, if you pledge right now I personally guarantee no more such references.

This is my story. It’s also a universal one. It’s an honest, funny, sometimes raw, often inappropriate glimpse into the life of a young man dealing with a life threatening illness in the only way he knew how. By laughing in its face.

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