First of all, apologies for how long it’s taken for me to pen an update - you see, I wasn’t expecting us to beat the April 30th deadline by TWO WHOLE DAYS. Two days, you bunch of chancers!

Perhaps this is extraneous and obvious by now, but it’s right that I extend a huge, voluminous thank you to everyone - from tentative digital patrons all the way up to you extravagant sack-swinging top-end…

Since announcing that the funding period for the book is ending at the end of April, the response has been wonderful. And practical! Loads more people have put their names down, snapped up paperbacks and mixtapes and digital copies, so much so that we now find ourselves at 84% funded. That’s a bit close to 100%, isn’t it?

But that final chunk needs to come from somewhere. The last 16% is just as…

Please forgive the overdramatic headline.

I’m going to cut to the chase on this one: I’m imposing a deadline to get Bobby Denise funded. It's not a decision I've taken lightly, so let's get into it!

Why are you doing that?

There are three reasons:

- Because we’re CLOSE. 68%. I mean, that’s not far to go, is it? If you want the monetary specifics, that’s about £1,200 or so which, when you…

Happy New Year! I know it is late-January, but I hope the festive period was good for you. It was for me, I got a coffee bean grinder.

So, a quick update on where we are with Bobby. We’re over halfway, and we’ve got about 100 people on board when you factor in the handful of ‘here’s a tenner for the book’ people in pubs. I mean, that’s quite a thing, isn’t it? New people: welcome, and please tell…

I know, I know: it has been a while since my last update. I’ve missed all you existing pledgends, and I throw open my arms to new supporters that have joined us recently. Then I back away, worried that I was too forward when I threw open my arms just a few seconds ago, then I apologise and you’re basically fine with it, then I just analyse it internally for few days.

Where are we?

I…

First things first - let’s welcome in the new recruits, shall we? I estimate that there’s now around 85 of you wonderful connoisseurs in our little gang, a touch more than the 80 listed on the site (this is down to pub encounters and in-person donations, mostly). That’s quite a lot of people, really, isn’t it? I think you could conceivably hold an event in the Buffalo Bar in Highbury with 85 people…

Hey gang,

I've decided for no particular reason (not because pledging has slowed down, nothing like that...), to post an extract from BDIRR.

All you need to know is that Bobby is addressing a large convention of the American Guild of Variety Artists, at the invitation of his old friend and colleague Volker Kinsale. Everyone in the AGVA hates Bobby, so this is a tricky speech for him. And Bobby…

Hi gang,

Let’s take stock, shall we? Last time I sent a message out, we were at 25%. I’m delighted to say that we’ve now sailed past that milestone and, in fact, past the 1/3 milestone too. Milestones are crumbling in our wake and causing a right royal mess for the local trawlers, I can tell you. We are sitting pretty at 35%.  The next milestone, however, is a little way off. 50% seems like the…

We made it to 25% in about 2-and-a-bit weeks. YOU GUYS.

I feel like, now that there’s 45 of us in this weird little club, we can all be honest. So everyone grab a hand. Doesn’t matter if you don’t know the person sitting next to you. Don’t worry if your hand’s a bit clammy. No-one judges in the 45.

This is the first actual milestone: a quarter of the way to being fully funded, a quarter of the…

Hello!

This is an update especially for you, cherished supporters. A brief glimpse behind the stage drapes, if you like.

So, we’re a week into pledging and, thanks to some unbelievably generous donations, we’re at a very healthy 21%. I think I read somewhere in the oodles of blurb that Unbound sent me that if a project gets to 30% within its first month, then chances are it’ll roll along to…