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Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of

By Stuart Ashen

book cover

NOW IN PAPERBACK WITH ADDED MERCH!

Publication date: December 2015
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About the book

To celebrate the release of Terrible Old Games in paperback - we have put together some fantastic Merch! Including a tea towel of Stuart's unique and very funny index and t-shirts featuring the iconic deer from the game Hunter. You can also buy a copy of the paperback edition with a specially designed bookplate signed by Stuart. In case you are coming to the book for the first time - here is a description written by Stuart...

Video games are great! Except when they're not, of course. We've all bought a game and been utterly underwhelmed by it, dribbling buyer's remorse from every pore as we furiously shake our fist at the publishers responsible for releasing them. But have you ever bought a game so fundamentally awful that it was impossible to glean any enjoyment from it whatsoever? If so, I feel your pain, and if you'll allow me I'll also take your money and offer you a book in exchange.

Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of is a compendium of some of the most painfully bad games available for the European home computer market from the early eighties to the mid nineties, based on my YouTube series of the same name. Everyone's heard of E.T. for the Atari 2600 and Superman for the Nintendo 64, but these are almost nothing next to the abject incompetence of Count Duckula 2 on the Amstrad CPC. There are people who seriously believe that Shaq Fu is the worst fighting game ever made, having never experienced Dangerous Streets or Barravento on the Amiga. This book will blow their very soul apart. (Not a guarantee).

There's nothing from the NES, or indeed any other dedicated games console, in this book. It's all about the home computer market during a special time when tight deadlines, tiny budgets and precious little quality control allowed some of the most egregiously horrid games to leak into the shops. As the title strongly suggests you've probably never heard of these games - who wants to retread the same old things when there's so much new horror to be discovered?

Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of is meticulously researched and written with the dry humour you'd expect from a man who has somehow made a living by sticking rubbish on a sofa and talking about it. And it's not all from me - some people you may well have heard of will be telling us what their most disappointing game purchase was. Because, of course, there's nothing quite so entertaining as other people's misery.

If you'd like this book to exist in a tangible form, pledge now and ensure that the games mentioned inside receive the recognition and derision they deserve. Because they're terrible, they're old, and you probably haven't heard of them.

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