Show your support

The debut collection of comedy short stories, poems and plays by writer, comedian and national poetry slam champion Daniel Piper.

Ebuk

21 pledges

You get a digital copy of the book. The e-book. Ebook? eBook? Ebuk? Ebuk. And your name in the back of the book

Book + ebuk

80 pledges

You get the delightful paperback edition of the book, the ebuk too and your name in the back of the book.

EU & Me / Special offer

17 pledges

A 1st edition paperback, the ebook edition and your name in the back of the book.
(Free shipping for EU addresses only.)

Special book + ebuk / Special offer

35 pledges

You get the delightful paperback and electronic editions of the book and your name in the list of Super Patrons in the front of the book.

The Metamorphillip

1 pledge

You will immediately receive a digital copy of my first spoken word album, The Metamorphillip. In 2014, I sat down with several musical instruments (which I can’t play) and recorded 20 stories and poems. This rare recording is not available anywhere else, plus the ebuk.

Print / Special offer

10 pledges

You get a beautiful print containing a short story from my incredible Instagram page, @danielpiperwords. You also get the paperback book and your name in the front of the book

30 available

Signed scripts

1 pledge

You get the signed and annotated scripts for both of my full-length Edinburgh Fringe comedy shows, DANIEL PIPER IS IN FOUR GANGS (2016) and DANIEL PIPER’S DAY OFF (2017). You also get the book, with your name in the front.

Personalised print

10 pledges

You get a beautiful print containing a piece of writing of about anyone or anything you like. You also get the paperback and electronic copies of the book. It would be a bit crap if you also had to buy the book separately.

15 available

Personalised print & video

You get a beautiful print containing a piece of writing of about anyone or anything you like, plus a very special video recording of the piece. I will use proper lighting, dress up smart and do my hair. You also get the paperback and electronic copies of the book, with your name in the front.

Erotic personalised print / Sold out

1 pledge

Instragram book

2 pledges

You will immediately receive a beautiful analogue copy of my Instagram writing page, @danielpiperwords. This handmade square hardback volume contains 60 selected pieces, many of which are not included in Arbitrary & Unnecessary. Each limited edition book is signed and numbered. You also get the main book, with your name in the front.

Carpe the day

4 pledges

You get a personalised piece, but it is beautifully printed and presented in a frame for you to put on your wall. Much better than a crappy inspirational poster which says ‘carpe the day’ or something. You also get the paperback book and your name in the front of the book

Only 5 available

My enormous face

You get one of the original posters which appeared in the windows of every Nationwide Building Society in the UK last summer after I read poetry for two of their TV adverts. My Dad is trying to get rid of this so please help. You also get the book, with your name in the front.

I saw him before he was famous!!!!!!!!!

I will come and play a gig for you and your friend(s) in your house. It’ll be fun! Maybe I’ll bring some poetic or musical friends. I’ll also bring a copy of the book, which I will allow you to have.

Front cover print / Sold out

1 pledge

Personalised piece in the bloody book

4 pledges

OMG. Deep breath before this one. Ok, right, so, you get a personalised pice of writing(erotic or non-erotic). But it’s IN the book. Like, PART of the book. So it could potentially be seen by millions of people. What better way to tell that special person you love them, or insult your boss?! You get the book too. I’m not going to put your piece in the book then not give you the book.

Only 5 available

Dedicated / Sold out

1 pledge