Monday, 14 August 2023
Just checking in
Work has been going slowly for me of late, time slipping through my fingers. I have been writing, but slowly, like a meandering river. Much of this has to do with the fact that after over ten years of pain and gradually restricted walking, I took the decision to get my knee looked at by private practice. Every time I went to the NHS I was told I was too young, to come back when I couldn't walk, to lose weight. I had no cartilage in one of the compartments in my knee, and the result was bone on bone, pain, restricted movement, increasing depression and weight. So.....come back when you can't walk? Really?
When this began, over ten years ago, there was no way I could have dreamed of getting it done privately. The Lost Words changed my life, my profile in the book world, my sales, and so, my income. After 40 years of working I had a thing I thought as mythic as a unicorn. Savings. (Thing is, all I ever wanted was to be an artist, so getting by was ok..... but walking was a part, a big part, of my working practice and my mental health as well as physical) The Lost Words is exhibited at Oriel y Parc in St Davids at the moment, on until April. Strange having the work so close to home, but also rather poignant.
So, the surgeon said, yes I was young to have it done. He understood the reasoning behind waiting, and I said, yes, so I wait ten years, in an increasing spiral of disability, and then book in to have it done and then die..... in a car accident or a myriad of unexpected ways that life can end...... so, why not now. He agreed that the impact on quality of life was enough. Told me to lose weight and booked me in. That was December.
I thought it was impossible to lose weight without doing exercise. But I discovered the Blood Sugar Diet cook book. 8 week plan, calorie controlled, gorgeous food. It changed, maybe saved my life.
Even with just this diet I began to walk better, but no amount of change of diet could fix the problem. Needed the op.....I have no idea how much weight I have lost since December. 4, maybe 5 stone. I feel so much better inside, and from the first week the weather in my head began to lift. I will write about this more, elsewhere. This posting was never meant to be quite so personal. But I sit here, having just done my rehab exercises, not yet taken the painkillers (just parcetamol now but I was on OxyContin, which I loved as it felt like being on holiday from myself). Over the past few weeks I wrote the Selkie story for Wild Folk, and if you go to the Wild Folk updates page you can not only watch the amazing film for the campaign, but also, if you go to the updates you can hear some of the story, and witness the curious shapeshifting I have been doing.
I'm going to be working on writing the text for Hare and Hound over next few weeks and steadily getting back into painting.
In the meantime I have been making an original Accordion Book. This has hares painted through it. If it were for sale it would be £2000. When both Hare and Hound are fully funded at 100% we will choose a name at random from supporters and this will be a prize. It will have words written on the reverse. I've one more hare to paint on it.
If you could share this posting, help spread the word, as there is still a long way to go, with both Hare and Hound, that would be a brilliant help.
I'm taking it easy, trying not to worry about deadlines, looking forward to walking more.
Yesterday a friend took me walking at St Davids Airfield. So good to be out. I can't drive at the moment, but am being well looked after. Learning the power of sleep for healing. Beginning to itch to paint.
Left a stone to mark where I walked to.
OxyContin is very addictive. I can see why. But so is sugar. Next time you go shopping, look at the amount of sugar and the space it takes up in a supermarket. It is a legal killer, with its roots in slavery and blood. As addictive as any drug, and as bloody depressing.
Hare - Accordion Book no 3
Hare Book and Giclee Print
ONLY 7 AVAILABLE.
- Hare Accordion Book