Struggling to come to terms with being an adult? ABC for adults can help!
This very special version of ABC for adults contains a secret panel* containing an authentic 1970s secondhand bookshop aroma. Give it a whiff and transport yourself back back in time. Also, signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book.
*The secret panel is basically a piece of paper from a smelly old secondhand book glued into the front.
A strange perverted old man will phone you in the middle of the night and read you weird bedtime story.* Sleep tight and mind the bugs don’t bite.
*Not recommend if you are easily offended or suffering from a known heart condition. Plus a limited edition pack of 6 ABC for adults postcards, a signed first edition hardback and your name in the back of the book.
This version of the (signed, first edition hardback with your name in the back) book contains a bespoke, handmade library card sleeve just like the ones from school. It will be personalised with your name so you can loan the book out to friends and fine them when they return it late. The b*stards!
A signed, limited edition A3 giclée print of an image of your choice from the book. This conversation piece will look lovely above the fireplace. Each print is an edition of 100. You’ll also receive a signed hardback copy of the book, with your name in the back.
Signed first edition hardback book with your name in the back, but Toby will also draw you a personalised insulting and tasteless cartoon using your initials as inspiration. If you’re easily offended this might not be for you.
Take Toby on in an old-fashioned pub sports Olympiad. Pool, darts, table football, fruit machines, beermat flipping and many more ‘sports’ will make up this thoroughly non-athletic event. It will take place in a real East London boozer and the day includes a pint of ale per event, a slap up dinner, a bespoke ABC for adults commemorative beer tankard with your name on and set of bespoke ABC for adults depressing darts. You’ll also get a signed first edition hardback book with your name in the back. Start your engines!
(BFH* and accommodation are not included.) (*Bus fare home)
The signed, first edition hardback book with your name in the back comes in a one-off, really grim 1970s hamper containing an actual collection of bleak and depressing artefacts from quite possibly the most dreary decade in history.