When he was a young boy growing up in County Cavan, Macaulay Breffni O'Rourke used to hear them talking in bars, sometimes muted whenever he'd be walking past, other times strident, whenever he might be having a lemonade with his father, citing chieftains, hill warriors as their abiding inspiration – but, more than anything, the injunctions of what they described as 'the kings in their slumber' – meaning the kings asleep in the ground who dispatched their appeal with each new coming generation.
And that was what Macaulay was endeavouring to explain as best he could to the policeman, in a room with no windows – sometimes laughing aloud but then other times starting to tremble and losing the train of his thought.
'Beneath their standard, that's where I walk: proud and noble and neither you or any of your strong-arm lackies are ever going to change that, my friend. Because every time you insult my race, I see them rise up behind you in the clouds: all those sacred names, from Conn of the Thousand Battles to Ernie O'Malley and Brian Boru. In case you didn't know it, they're the kings asleep in the ground.'
'And that's why you call yourself The King of Cavan is it?' said the officer, 'with your unwashed hair and daft medallion, not to mention that disgusting old ratbag coat, smells like something died in its pockets. You know who he reminds me of?'
'No', said the sergeant, 'Who? Who does he remind you of, for I can't wait to hear.'
'Wurzel Gummidge', replied the officer, pulling out a cigarette and laughing until it became so infectious that all three present in the interview room were at their wits’ end, chortling hysterically, and The King of Cavan more than any of them, doing his best not to notice what was pivoting on its feet at the back of his mind, observing the proceedings implacably through the window.
Except there was no window.
So maybe there wasn't any blackbird either.
Or 'londubh' as it was called in Irish.
'Wurzel Gummidge', repeated the sergeant, almost wetting himself in the process.
N.B. If you want to know more about the disordered mind of Macaulay Breffni O'Rourke - watch the attached.
Gertie says: PLAY IT LOUD!