Dear Noble Inhabitants of the Shed,
It has been a while. I hope you have been making yourself comfortable in the interim. Or, failing that, in the wheelbarrow. Thank you all for tending my begonias, clearing the rotten apples from my lawn and keeping my shears sharpened. In a figurative sense, of course. By a curious coincidence, in real life (I have one of those also) I have just begun a period of garden leave. This means I shall be making more frequent visits to my shed than I have done of late. I shall bring Vimto and biscuits.
An update on progress with the book: as mentioned last time, all is written and progressing steadily according to strict and orderly timelines. It has been presented at a sales conference to sales reps more familiar to selling the work of Jilly Cooper and Jamie Oliver. The manuscript has now gone off to be typeset and very soon the exciting business of the cover design will begin. I would like BRIAN BILSTON to be written in giant 144pt lettering but Unbound are worried that this may put people off. They think that pretending it is a book by Simon Armitage or Carol Ann Duffy may be a better approach.
The book is now 158% funded. If you can help me to get to 200% by continuing to tell people who you don’t care for very much about the book, then I can confirm that there will be two supporters-only exclusive “bits of other stuff” (this is a technical term used in marketing, I am told):
- A subscribers-only poem sent digitally to you all – and one “lucky” pledger will be randomly picked to receive a print
- An audio file of selected poems from the book
The latter may or may not be read by me. I remain unconvinced that I possess the appropriate vocal range. Unlike Benedict Cumberbatch:
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH POEM
Benedict Cumberbatch
admired by lumberjacks
for the way he’d shout “TIMBER!”
with a magnificent timbre.
He shan’t be reading them. Sorry if I got your hopes up.
Also, watch out in the next week or so for a new pledge level to go up on the page – with another limited edition exclusive “thing” I’m planning. Please try to contain your excitement.
I need to go now and attend to my garden. The badgers have been digging it up again.
Brian
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