In the post the next morning there was a crisp-looking envelope with the franked postmark that comes on all official mail from institutions, and he carried it into the kitchen and carefully put it above his place setting at table.The wait was over. He'd been expecting the letter and now it had arrived he was relieved. He prepared his egg, soldiers and coffee and solemnly ate his breakfast before opening it. Recognising the familiar seal of the Diocese, at the top of the single sheet of notepaper enclosed, he unfolded it to read:
Dear Reverend Drive,
As the finalisation of the sale of St. Tobias's has now been completed it will become necessary for you to vacate 3 The Cottages, Priory Street by the end of the month, as the property has been placed in the hands of Hamptons for immediate sale.
Please be kind enough to acknowledge receipt of this letter at your earliest convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Kenneth Finlay
Property Department
Diocesan Board of Finance
Succinct and dry, thought Arnold. It conveyed the information, nothing more and nothing less. He started to experience a strange feeling after he'd read it through, as if the cottage he'd been living in all this time had suddenly become nothing more than a tent, something flimsy and liable to fall down at any moment. Through its thin material he could now feel the chaos of the outside world pressing in, trying to reach him. He'd lived there ever since arriving in Corsham, some thirty years earlier, and it was the longest he'd lived anywhere. He'd become part of the cottage and in a few weeks he would have to wrench himself away from it, never to return. It made him question what he'd achieved during all the time he'd spent there. He was forced to conclude he'd merely been God's servant, supplying the people of Corsham with a link to solace and an understanding of His nature. There was no need to question this conclusion, or evaluate it, his place was to accept it as his life's work. If he'd had some success, that was his achievement. The end of the month meant in three weeks time. He tried to pray for support but it didn't seem to help him. He needed to hold on to somebody and the only person he could think of at that moment was Hermione. He felt driven as he washed up his breakfast things and placed them next to the sink to drain. He went to the hallway and put on his jacket and shoes, and placed his keys in his jacket pocket before opening and going out of the front door.
It didn't take more than a few minutes to walk the several streets to Hermione's house and as soon as it came into view he began to feel better. He strode up to her front door, rang the bell, and heard her approaching on the other side. No sooner was the door opened than he was close to her again, smelling her smell, and gaining comfort from the reality of a fellow human being. She said nothing and just allowed him to hold on to her. He felt he should say something, so he whispered
'I got the letter today, telling me to leave the cottage.'
'Oh, Arnold. I'm terribly sorry,' she whispered back.
Then she was leading him carefully and gently, and he allowed her to take him up the stairs and along the passageway into a room. She made him sit down on the side of a bed and lifted his legs and turned them so that he was lying down on his side. He felt drenched in the concentrated essence of her smell and he wanted to close his eyes and fill his body with it. In his darkness he felt the bed give under her weight to his right, and she was there stroking his face and his hair, and it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever experienced. Her lips found his and this time he responded positively. He wanted to kiss the French way as he had done all those years before in Guildford. She helped him take off his clothes and it reminded him of when he was a small boy, when his mother would do the same and put him to bed. He still kept his eyes closed because he thought if he opened them he would wake up and find that none of these things were really happening. He allowed her to pull the blankets from under his body and felt their weight descend on top of him and he sensed her taking off her clothes. There was the warm glow of another body, her body, there in the bed beside him and he knew this was what he wanted more than anything. And when their bodies become one, all the anxieties that had built up within him over the last few months were dissipated in the space of a few seconds.
Arnold must have fallen into a deep sleep. When he opened his eyes he was curled up in the bed but she was gone. The curtains had been drawn halfway across the window to prevent the sunlight from directly hitting the bed, something she must have done when he was asleep. He should have felt shame at what had taken place, but he felt none. He should have felt he had abandoned God and his Faith, but he felt he had done neither. What's more he didn't feel abandoned by God. The love he'd shared with Hermione hadn't been siphoned off from his love for God. On the contrary, it felt as if his love supply had been topped up. As he woke up he started to feel his cup really was overflowing with love. He checked the time on his wrist watch. It was half past two so he must have been asleep several hours. The bedroom door opened and Hermione appeared. She had put on a dressing gown and came over to sit on the bed.
'Hello, Arnold, did you have a nice sleep?'
He lay back on the pillows and looked up at her, and said,
'It's funny, yesterday I was wondering if I would ever spend the night with a woman. But I didn't expect it to happen during the day, if you see what I mean.'
She smiled at him and understood, saying,
'I thought it might have been the first time. I do hope it hasn't been too much of a shock.'
She took his hand and raised it to her lips to kiss. Then he said
'No. Not at all. More of a surprise than a shock. Thank you. I'm glad it was with you. It was a wonderful experience.'
'You know, you're the first man I've been with since Tony left.'
It struck him then that if Lucy hadn't been away at her festival none of this would have happened.
They went downstairs and sat in the kitchen and talked across the big pine table. She prepared an early meal for them and they took it outside to eat in the garden. He allowed himself a glass or two of rose wine with the food and found himself laughing with her at her little teases. The shadows began to lengthen and Arnold climbed the stairs to again take refuge in Hermione's warmth and spent his first night with a woman.
Lucy was due back from the festival the following day, and when they woke they agreed he should return home after a late breakfast. Hermione made him egg and soldiers as he was used to, and he found himself thinking as he strolled home what a different life he could have had if he'd got himself married off when he was younger. He could still have been a vicar but there would have been a different thread, one a family provides. He wondered if his understanding and interpretation of religion would have been any different from the way it was. The appearance of sex in his life was a major development, and he found he was enjoying it. He'd made love to Hermione two more times, once before they had fallen asleep, and again in the morning as the first rays of dawn had brightened the room. He thought he was getting the hang of it and she had been very patient and encouraging. He had no idea of how they were going to proceed with their relationship, especially in light of the fact that Lucy was at home that summer and would no doubt remain there until mid-September at the earliest. Perhaps they would be forced to meet up clandestinely, the thought of which excited him somehow.
It was the first time he'd been away from the cottage overnight since he'd attended a forum in Edinburgh on Arminianism in 2001. He'd been away for three nights then and had rued agreeing to attend as soon as he'd got on the sleeper train taking him there, from Temple Meads in Bristol. He remembered Hermione driving him to the station. This time coming home he had no such regret, as he was finding it difficult to see it as his home any longer since he'd received the letter. He moved around the rooms sensing a growing impermanence, as if he were just a temporary visitor on the way to somewhere else. When he spotted the letter lying on the kitchen table it was just a piece of paper with some writing on it. He concluded the strength he'd gained was from the time he'd spent with Hermione and he was glad about what they'd done and what they had allowed to happen. He started to read his book on the Inquisition and was surprised to discover it was past five o'clock when he paused at the end of a chapter. He strolled into the kitchen to consider what he could prepare simply to eat for the evening and realised it was a Sunday, the first Sunday since St. Tobias's had closed. Ever since he'd heard about the impending closure all those months before, he'd wondered what it would be like on a Sunday, not going there and conducting the service as usual. Instead he had been sleeping with Hermione. He was filled with guilt that he hadn't observed the Lord once the whole day and fell on his knees on the kitchen floor to pray for forgiveness. At the precise moment he put his hands together he saw a bright flash of light, which he interpreted as a sign of God's anger at his absence of faith. He started to pray, hoping it wasn't too late to find forgiveness.
'Heavenly Father. Forgive me, for I have sinned...'
He heard a distant rumbling and realised a summer thunderstorm was approaching. The noise got louder and the flashes grew more frequent and before he'd finished praying he heard the sound of heavy rain striking the ground outside. There were dull thuds as the large drops hit the window panes around him. He heard the drops running together, forcing courses to open up along the uneven paving stones in the yard outside, as the water tried to seek lower level. He finished his prayer and got up from the hard flagstone floor feeling pain in his knees, and as soon as it had appeared the storm moved away towards the east, and left what sounded like a host of clocks ticking at different speeds outside.