Hello! My name is Daniel and I’ve said approximately 15,000,000 words across almost 4,000 internet videos in the past eight years. It’s probably time I wrote some of them down.

My love for video games started in 1991 when I discovered that I could magically control the small blue hedgehog on my TV with a special remote control. My passion for writing came about when a boy wizard stabbed a snake man in the face. My interest in dinosaurs came from a visit to the Natural History Museum, but that isn’t important right now.

I live in *REDACTED* with Rebecca, the illustrator of this book, and our many, many pets. When I grow up I’d like to be a bit less fat.